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Joined
Jun 1, 2015
Messages
27
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
05/2015
Country
US
State
WA
I'm 19. I feel stuck. I hurt too bad to work. SSA denied me disability. I live with my parents on an $80 dollar monthly allowance.

I've barely dated and have no idea how I would even go about dating someone when I can hardly leave the house. I live in a somewhat rural area so that doesn't help my online dating prospects. I feel so very alone.

My social life is nearly nonexistent. I've got a couple of friends who I see about once a week and that's about it. One of them is kinda drifting off because I'm too sad and am "draining" (his word) to be around.

My life has just started and it feels like it's over. I was doing little community college, but I still haven't even finished high school. Now I doubt I could make it to class often enough to finish. Is there anyone else who got this shit young who can tell me how to handle this?

I'm a strong person. I used to climb, run, swim, do martial arts. I got straight A's in college while working full time AND doing after-school activities. But, I have not a clue how to handle this kind of pain and fatigue. It's too intense. Too frequent. Too pervasive. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm doomed to live with my parents forever, alone and in pain, with no one to hold me or love me. No diploma or degree. No career. Just a smudge on the bottom of a shoe.

I see my sisters, friends and old peers on facebook. Some are in college. Some have careers. Some are getting married, having kids. Some are traveling the world. I sit in my room, waking up in pain, crawling to my desk to find whatever I can to distract me from the pain until I go to sleep and do it all again the next day.

I don't really know what the point of it all is.
 
I'm 19. I feel stuck. I hurt too bad to work. SSA denied me disability. I live with my parents on an $80 dollar monthly allowance.

I've barely dated and have no idea how I would even go about dating someone when I can hardly leave the house. I live in a somewhat rural area so that doesn't help my online dating prospects. I feel so very alone.

My social life is nearly nonexistent. I've got a couple of friends who I see about once a week and that's about it. One of them is kinda drifting off because I'm too sad and am "draining" (his word) to be around.

My life has just started and it feels like it's over. I was doing little community college, but I still haven't even finished high school. Now I doubt I could make it to class often enough to finish. Is there anyone else who got this shit young who can tell me how to handle this?

I'm a strong person. I used to climb, run, swim, do martial arts. I got straight A's in college while working full time AND doing after-school activities. But, I have not a clue how to handle this kind of pain and fatigue. It's too intense. Too frequent. Too pervasive. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm doomed to live with my parents forever, alone and in pain, with no one to hold me or love me. No diploma or degree. No career. Just a smudge on the bottom of a shoe.

I see my sisters, friends and old peers on facebook. Some are in college. Some have careers. Some are getting married, having kids. Some are traveling the world. I sit in my room, waking up in pain, crawling to my desk to find whatever I can to distract me from the pain until I go to sleep and do it all again the next day.

I don't really know what the point of it all is.

First of all Catherine, you're not alone. Even when at times it feels that way, remember you have your parents, family, friends (even if seldom like you mentioned) and you also have this community. I know how to feels to become sick at a young age. I was 23 when I became sick. I have watched my friends travel, become doctors, hell even my little sister is becoming a doctor! I've watched my friends have kids, I've lost friends from them taking my absence to heart when I wasnt able to attend parties, kick backs, baby showers, weddings, etc. I've lost my nursing career; I'm no longer able to preform surges anymore. I can't even clean my own house or go buy my own groceries.
my parents think I'm lazy. My employer who ended up firing me thought I was making up excuses on why I would call in absent. I literally have hit rock bottom.
But my dear Catherine, you must keep faith. You need to keeping searching for better doctors, better medicine...even joining this community was a great idea because it shows that you have hope. While I don't have answers to your questions, I do have a shoulder you can cry on.
I'm 27 now and I'm sick as I've ever been. But I keep going. And you gotta do the same.
if your friends drop you because "you're too much for them", well then **** them! You're too GOOD for them! When I started to become sick and lost friends, I was lost and heartbroken. Hell, I still lose friends to this day from the same shit, but that doesn't mean you can't make new friends. And I'm lending you my hand and my heart, my dear. I am willing to give you my phone number. Text me when you're down, when you're mad, when you're sad, when you can't take shit anymore and more importantly, text me when your happy. It's the good days that count when you're sick, and you have to cherish them more than anything.
if you're looking for a friend, or just someone to talk to or vent to, message me here and we can go from there.
I'll be here when you need me.
Better to private message here on site then add personal emails:)
-Brittany
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hi Catherine

I'm not quite as young as you but I'm 27 and understand the pain you are going through, if you don't mind me asking how long have you been diagnosed - are you going through a terrible flare -up or is this constant- are you been seeing by a pain management team and taking medication? Sending you lots of gentle hugs- always here if you need to talk ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 
Catherine,

there are some on here your age. just give them time to come in the forum to respond.

have you talked to a lawyer about disability? it will take one sometimes to get it.

get yourself on the food stamp program. no shame in that, as we all pay for it in taxes for you to use.

try meeting someone on Skype!

look for chat rooms, many have gotten married that way too.

try to get your GED online first, then online college classes.

try to keep moving so to reduce your pain. (dancing helps)

Remember folks will never understand your pain unless they have it.

try not to talk about it or change the subject to something you like to chat about with friends.

find out what they have been doing and see if you can try it with them.

try to keep a happy face on.

if your keeping yourself busy then you wont think of the pain.

hang in there.
 
Thanks for the replies. I got diagnosed about a month and a half ago. I've had symptoms for a couple years. Only became disabling in October though. This level of pain has been pretty constant for about 2 months. It's way more severe right now then when it made me drop out of school and quit my job. I haven't started any meds yet. I'm waiting on a referral to a pain clinic in Seattle. Also, I sent you a friend request shipwrexk. It'd be nice to chat sometime.
 
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hi catherine :)

I was diagnosed at 18 and am now 20. I completely understand, everyone just kind of assumes that you're young so you must be fine because there aren't tests or X-rays to prove things. I feel like sometimes I'm my biggest critic, I have a really hard time believing that it isn't all in my head. I used to be a very competitive runner and climber, now I can barely make it 20 minutes without breaking down.

let me know if you want to talk.
 
catherine, i'm not 19 and i'm glad to see others close to your age are responding but i do relate to a lot of your frustration and to the whole "what is the point" issue. not being able to work, or participate in life the way you want to, is exceptionally frustrating. it makes you angry, and depressed, and miserable. i'm not sure if i agree with people who argue that bad things happen to people who can handle it, or that life lessons make you stronger. i do know that life is all we have. depression is a killer and something you need to address sooner rather than later. grieve about the changes in your life, keep talking, and celebrate the things that still bring you joy that are easy. for me it's movies, and reading (although less of the later now; thanks fibro fog ;-) ). learning to adjust to a new slower paced life is a challenge, but the people here and in your life can help. keep talking and sharing, we're here for you.
 
I have so much sympathy for you Catherine.

The Internet is definitely no substitute for real life activities and I'm saying that as someone who became addicted to online games and chat rooms while back in college and still here 20+ years later.

But I definitely encourage you to use the Internet to take free online college-level classes, meet people, and get as much emotional support as possible. Anything that makes you feel good and distracted from the pain and hopelessness and despair for a little while is a big help. Finding people online you like and trust and then using Skype to talk to them for free is a big help like someone else suggested.

As for the SSA- do not give up. Re-apply. Keep going to your doctors. Get what state support like food stamps and medical coverage you can. Find a therapist. Gather up paperwork and more paperwork from doctors of every kind that documents your condition. If there is a local Vocational Rehabilitation program in your country, make an appointment there. If they determine you can't work (and chances are they will) then have them write that in a letter and keep that in your file as well. And if they think they can help you get some kind of job or training program? Then you will have that opportunity.

Meanwhile, just breath a lot, let yourself cry a lot, and hang in there.
 
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