CrazyCatLady
Member
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2016
- Messages
- 20
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 07/2016
- Country
- CA
- State
- ON
Hi!
So, I posted in the newly diagnosed section but this seems to be the place to introduce ones-self, so here I go!
I was just diagnosed on monday but have had a lifetime of pain in my 28 short years.
I feel like a 90 year old inside and out.
I was bullied all through school and never had any friends then was brutally assaulted at 15 and became agoraphobic and couldn't go to school. I've always been introverted because I was bullied-- never partied. Always straight edge; never tried smoking or drinking or recreational drugs.
I've had one boyfriend and he broke up with me 8 years ago and I truly believe I'll be alone forever because I'm unemployed and depressed and extremely anxious and don't trust people.
When I was a little girl, I thought I'd have children and a job that I sort of liked and maybe even a home but those dreams seem to have been dashed off the side of a very sharp, rocky cliff.
I watch people I went to school with who were all kind of terrible to me, appear to be so happy and to experience new things and to travel and work and get married and be in relationships and start families and I feel stunted.
I feel totally alone in this.
When my mom was my age, she was married and owned a house and had 2 children. haha
My older sister is a single parent with the most incredible kid and my younger brother owns a fancy car and has travelled the world and here I am, trapped in my mind... and now, in my body too.
I feel like even if I miraculously felt well enough to think of a dream and to chase it, now-- my body would stop me. I'm in too much pain to do anything and wasted my 'healthy years' doing nothing.
It's very discouraging.
Anyways... I'll have to just keep trying.
I've heard it all-- I'm 'still young' and 'don't know what could happen', so whatever... :roll:
Haha.
Thankyou for being here, forum!
So, I posted in the newly diagnosed section but this seems to be the place to introduce ones-self, so here I go!
I was just diagnosed on monday but have had a lifetime of pain in my 28 short years.
I feel like a 90 year old inside and out.
I was bullied all through school and never had any friends then was brutally assaulted at 15 and became agoraphobic and couldn't go to school. I've always been introverted because I was bullied-- never partied. Always straight edge; never tried smoking or drinking or recreational drugs.
I've had one boyfriend and he broke up with me 8 years ago and I truly believe I'll be alone forever because I'm unemployed and depressed and extremely anxious and don't trust people.
When I was a little girl, I thought I'd have children and a job that I sort of liked and maybe even a home but those dreams seem to have been dashed off the side of a very sharp, rocky cliff.
I watch people I went to school with who were all kind of terrible to me, appear to be so happy and to experience new things and to travel and work and get married and be in relationships and start families and I feel stunted.
I feel totally alone in this.
When my mom was my age, she was married and owned a house and had 2 children. haha
My older sister is a single parent with the most incredible kid and my younger brother owns a fancy car and has travelled the world and here I am, trapped in my mind... and now, in my body too.
I feel like even if I miraculously felt well enough to think of a dream and to chase it, now-- my body would stop me. I'm in too much pain to do anything and wasted my 'healthy years' doing nothing.
It's very discouraging.
Anyways... I'll have to just keep trying.
I've heard it all-- I'm 'still young' and 'don't know what could happen', so whatever... :roll:
Haha.
Thankyou for being here, forum!