Leana
Member
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
- Messages
- 12
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 01/2015
- Country
- CA
- State
- Manitoba
last December 2014 I had my neck go out as I was reaching for my purse on the ground, was in such excruciating pain that I couldn't move my neck so I was out of work for a week until it finally started to feel better..which my neck did get better, but the trauma that my body went through with my neck introduced to me fibromyalgia. Of course it was a coue to a few months later that I started to realize I have all sorts of pain everywhere now, and that all of a sudden Im experiencing sleeping problems, extreme anxiety and depression. I was seeing a chiro for my neck at first and also started noticing that by the time I got home, I was all stiff and in pain again. He sent me for blood work had some results come back and that's when he sent me to a rheumatologist and he confirmed I had fibromyalgia but almost seemed like he didn't care to take me seriously
I just don't know how to find a balance between work and my personal life while being in pain all day every day and all night. I work long hours assisting and it physically drains me to the point where I want to have a mental breakdown at work..my boss is trying to push me to have my own chair and bring my own clients and its causing me such intense stress I just want to cry thinking about it because I have such a hard time going home and cooking and cleaning and doing normal people stuff, how am i expected to go out after work and try to build up a clientele when in reality all I want to do is come home and curl up in a ball.
I feel like my pain is so widespread all day every day but the worst pain I have is in my hip, radiates down my legs and lower back too. I get intense ankle pains and wrist pains to the point where I want to chop off my wrist cuz I can't handle the tension in it and the way it feels like it's squeezing tight and so uncomfortable. I could go on forever with a list of all my different pains I experience.
I would have do say that the way I feel sometimes is worse than physical pain. Waking up feeling like I got 0 hours of sleep every single day is so stressful for me. I wake up so unmotivated, in pain, so tired that I feel like Im still sleeping standing up every morning getting ready for work. There are days I wake up and within minutes I'm crying and extremely depressed because of the fact that I hAve to carry on a full day knowing how hard it is going to be on my body.
I put all of my energy into work while I'm at work that some days I don't have any energy to drive my car home... Nevermind cook dinner,clean,laundry and still have enough energy to go out and build clients ?!
I feel like I can't handle life. And Im so embarrassed that at my age im not capable of doing something I know I'm capable of doing if I wasnt in this situation.
my family and friends are supportive, but I know that they will never truly understand what I'm going through.. and I feel helpless because I cant handle my life right now I literally call my mom every day crying hysterically saying I can't handle life it's too much for me. Work is so hard on my body and its so hard for me to go up in my career and I JUST got my red seal which means I'm officially licensed through the government as a hairstylist... And all of a sudden Everyrhing feels like it's going downhill in my career for me. I feel like such s failure.
I need a therapist to talk to everyday because calling my mom like that is so unfair to her.. I know it hurts my mom to see my hurt, and when I think about that, it hurts me even more.
I'm physically and mentally lost.
I just don't know how to find a balance between work and my personal life while being in pain all day every day and all night. I work long hours assisting and it physically drains me to the point where I want to have a mental breakdown at work..my boss is trying to push me to have my own chair and bring my own clients and its causing me such intense stress I just want to cry thinking about it because I have such a hard time going home and cooking and cleaning and doing normal people stuff, how am i expected to go out after work and try to build up a clientele when in reality all I want to do is come home and curl up in a ball.
I feel like my pain is so widespread all day every day but the worst pain I have is in my hip, radiates down my legs and lower back too. I get intense ankle pains and wrist pains to the point where I want to chop off my wrist cuz I can't handle the tension in it and the way it feels like it's squeezing tight and so uncomfortable. I could go on forever with a list of all my different pains I experience.
I would have do say that the way I feel sometimes is worse than physical pain. Waking up feeling like I got 0 hours of sleep every single day is so stressful for me. I wake up so unmotivated, in pain, so tired that I feel like Im still sleeping standing up every morning getting ready for work. There are days I wake up and within minutes I'm crying and extremely depressed because of the fact that I hAve to carry on a full day knowing how hard it is going to be on my body.
I put all of my energy into work while I'm at work that some days I don't have any energy to drive my car home... Nevermind cook dinner,clean,laundry and still have enough energy to go out and build clients ?!
I feel like I can't handle life. And Im so embarrassed that at my age im not capable of doing something I know I'm capable of doing if I wasnt in this situation.
my family and friends are supportive, but I know that they will never truly understand what I'm going through.. and I feel helpless because I cant handle my life right now I literally call my mom every day crying hysterically saying I can't handle life it's too much for me. Work is so hard on my body and its so hard for me to go up in my career and I JUST got my red seal which means I'm officially licensed through the government as a hairstylist... And all of a sudden Everyrhing feels like it's going downhill in my career for me. I feel like such s failure.
I need a therapist to talk to everyday because calling my mom like that is so unfair to her.. I know it hurts my mom to see my hurt, and when I think about that, it hurts me even more.
I'm physically and mentally lost.