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katydid

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I just need to vent to someone other than my mom about this lol...
Even if no one reads it...

My brothers girlfriend is driving me insane! I seriously hate her. Right now I'm ignoring her because she decided to talk cap about me to my own mother in my own house! My mom corrected her and told her to knock it off, and she kept going.. Then she lied to my brother and said my mom picked a fight with her, and conviently left out the reason why there was a problem...
She's been talking behind my back for over a year now about anything and everything she can.. She's done so much to me and said so many hurtful things and called me every name in the book... She's done nasty stuff to mom as well... Which pisses me off even more because that's my mom...
Well today, I went on mom's Facebook to snoop, as I don't have one because I hate it (too much drama with people my age in this area... And I don't want anyone knowing my business), and I saw numerous statuses and comments about me! Some were super nasty, ie: " there are many choice words I would love to say to you right now" followed by her friends commenting and one even said "you should blow up the house!"

seriously!?! You can't say that to my face though! Ughhhhhhhhhh
I want her out of my house and not dating my brother! She's a rotten little thing! We all see it, but we can't do much, as we're afraid of him rebelling and getting sucked into her wrath even more....

I realize I might sound really mean in this post... I'm just so frustrated and p'd off about the stuff she's been doing lately! Grrr!

I used to ignore it, but I bottled it up for too long and blew up on her and my brother and I don't hide my feelings or bite my tongue usually, I wouldnt say I'm confrontational, but if I have a problem I want to solve it and move on.... but I have been biting my tongue lately...

We even had a talk a few weeks ago where I decided to be the bigger person and apologize to her for some stuff I said to her in the big blow out fight, and she apologized for a few things but blamed it on something someone told her I said a couple weeks before that was untrue (I never said what she claims this person says I said), I wanted to remind her about all the other stuff she's done and said but decided to bite my tongue and let it go once again, and we called a truce, only for her to go back stab be yet again and talk crap about me to a few mutual friends who told me and to my own mom!

I've had it! I'm just done!
And all this stress is adding to my pain... I just wish she'd go away! Find some other guy to prey on!
 
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Wow, Katy! She sounds like such an awful person, I don't blame you for wanting her out of your lives! I can't believe your brother sees this on FB and how she treats you and your mom, but is still with this woman? how old is he anyway? I bet he isn't that old, right? *Sigh*

You guys are doing the right thing by not meddling with that, because it seems the more you tell someone x person not good for them the more they fall for that person, I saw it happen a lot. Actually you guys are doing good, sadly your bro can't really see the big picture :(

So sorry you have to deal with such a crappy person, for reals! By the way, she sounds like a really dumb person.
 
You guys are doing the right thing by not meddling with that, because it seems the more you tell someone x person not good for them the more they fall for that person, I saw it happen a lot.

This is what I've seen in my experience, too... as soon as some people hear they shouldn't be doing something, especially when it involves another person, they dig their heels in. But I guess I would, too. :smile:

So how to deal with it? I've always just totally ignored abrasive people and eventually they get tired of trying to bait. I call them sandpaper people and the thing that annoys them most is realizing they're not upsetting their victim. :!:
 
Wow, Katy! She sounds like such an awful person, I don't blame you for wanting her out of your lives! I can't believe your brother sees this on FB and how she treats you and your mom, but is still with this woman? how old is he anyway? I bet he isn't that old, right? *Sigh*

You guys are doing the right thing by not meddling with that, because it seems the more you tell someone x person not good for them the more they fall for that person, I saw it happen a lot. Actually you guys are doing good, sadly your bro can't really see the big picture :(

So sorry you have to deal with such a crappy person, for reals! By the way, she sounds like a really dumb person.

Hes a couple years younger than me.. And she's in between us for age.. He's blind to her games and nastiness... The girl has him brainwashed if you ask me!
Oh and she moved I to out house like 6 months after they started dating, neither of them asked my parents, she just started living here! Even moved some furniture into his room when no one was home! This girls got balls, let me tell you!
 
This is what I've seen in my experience, too... as soon as some people hear they shouldn't be doing something, especially when it involves another person, they dig their heels in. But I guess I would, too. :smile:

So how to deal with it? I've always just totally ignored abrasive people and eventually they get tired of trying to bait. I call them sandpaper people and the thing that annoys them most is realizing they're not upsetting their victim. :!:

It seems like not matter what, whether I ignore her or not she just keeps going! The girl is relentless!
She even had my dad fooled for a while, but he caught on... She walks around the house in short shorts and a tank top with no bra when he's home! Disgusting if you ask me! Mom really hates when she does that!
The sad part is we used to get along and do stuff together, but last April everything changed and she started messing with me for no reason besides she wants my brother all to her self... It's pretty sad if you ask me!...

I just wish he would wake up and smell the roses already!
 
katie-opny,
You might pick up a small tape recorder and start taping her when she is mean to you and your mother. Even cell phone recordings would work for picture proof if she is physically abusive. That way if things get really bad you will have proof of the things she says and the games she plays with all of you. Sometimes just telling someone that their girl friend is really mean is not enough, you have to prove it.

Also is your Dad & Mom, strong enough to ask for rent money? Make it high and stick to it. It might be enough to get her out of the house, although, your brother might at first leave as well, but maybe that is what it would take to get her out. Keep the recordings under wraps and bide your time. At some point they might be the finally prying point to get her out of the house.

Having lived in that type of setting, my heart goes out to you all in this matter. :( :)
 
That is crazy. What is her deal with you exactly? I am sorry to hear that she is being a pain. We all know that we do not need the extra stress in our lives.
 
Who owns/is responsible for the house? Can you not speak with this person about the problems? Have them lay down some" Rules of Civility"? Really, people are going to think what they want about you no matter what you do, so you need to take care of yourself,(fibro), to not stress,(easily said) Can you be "the bigger person" and just live the best life you can and try to ignore her moods? I agree with Mariposa ,some people get their kicks baiting others. Don't be the bull that takes the bait.
Sorry you have to deal with this when you don't feel good but there will always be something that tests us.
[Trust in the Lord with all your heart.]
 
katie-opny,
You might pick up a small tape recorder and start taping her when she is mean to you and your mother. Even cell phone recordings would work for picture proof if she is physically abusive. That way if things get really bad you will have proof of the things she says and the games she plays with all of you. Sometimes just telling someone that their girl friend is really mean is not enough, you have to prove it.

Also is your Dad & Mom, strong enough to ask for rent money? Make it high and stick to it. It might be enough to get her out of the house, although, your brother might at first leave as well, but maybe that is what it would take to get her out. Keep the recordings under wraps and bide your time. At some point they might be the finally prying point to get her out of the house.

Having lived in that type of setting, my heart goes out to you all in this matter. :( :)

I wish it was that easy but she's super sneaky about it most of the time, like this last time she waited until I took the dog out and then started talking cap to my mom when I wasn't there to defend myself....
As far as the rent, they'd never do that.... This girl doesn't even chip in for groceries, she rarely cleans and if she does she does a bad job because she wasn't taught properly.... Can't cook... Has no concept of finances.... In my opinion she's not the marrying type regardless of if it's my brother or any other man....

I'm flat out ignoring her now which isn't helping but I know if I talk to her I will not be nice right now so it's the best option for the time being....
 
That is crazy. What is her deal with you exactly? I am sorry to hear that she is being a pain. We all know that we do not need the extra stress in our lives.

Honestly I wish I knew why she hated me so much because I didn't do anything... It all started when I offered to help her with her taxes and I ended up getting over 2 dozen injections in my back and neck that day so I told her I couldn't help her at my house (I was staying at my then boyfriends house at that time) and told her she could come there and I would still help her - I just couldn't drive and needed to take pain meds...well she ignored me then and the other several times I tried seeing the Hannah could.. 2 weeks later she told me 2 days before she wanted me to help her, well I had to take my truck to get fixed so I couldn't and asked again when else and she ignored it... That was the first time she talked behind my back to my mom saying I blew her off about the taxes and mom called her out on it because I had been showing my mom everything...
Ever since then it's been one thing after another.....
 
Who owns/is responsible for the house? Can you not speak with this person about the problems? Have them lay down some" Rules of Civility"? Really, people are going to think what they want about you no matter what you do, so you need to take care of yourself,(fibro), to not stress,(easily said) Can you be "the bigger person" and just live the best life you can and try to ignore her moods? I agree with Mariposa ,some people get their kicks baiting others. Don't be the bull that takes the bait.
Sorry you have to deal with this when you don't feel good but there will always be something that tests us.
[Trust in the Lord with all your heart.]

Mom and dad own the house and they've both told her to knock it off but she doesn't care and keeps going... That's why I'm ignoring her.... It's about all I can manage right now because I know if I say anything she will lie and I will not be nice then lol....
 
I just want to say thank you guys so much for ever reading this... I've been feeling like I'm not even welcome in my own house because of her... It's hard, and I really appreciate being able to let it out here in a safe place! Thank you thank you thank you!
 
Hes a couple years younger than me.. And she's in between us for age.. He's blind to her games and nastiness... The girl has him brainwashed if you ask me!
Oh and she moved I to out house like 6 months after they started dating, neither of them asked my parents, she just started living here! Even moved some furniture into his room when no one was home! This girls got balls, let me tell you!

Darn... so she is still living there? Oh my... you have it so difficult right there :( Damn! This is serious, because now that she is living with you guys... it might be harder to get rid of her. I really think your brother is blinded, but don't worry, if things fall into place he will come back to his senses... let's hope something happens that make him open his eyes and see her for who she really is: an awful person.

Have you ever thought of recording those fights she has with your and your mom? There are so many small gadgets out there that can allow you to do that... help you to record that since the beginning to the end (so she later doesn't tell your brother those things she said were recorded out of context!).
 
Darn... so she is still living there? Oh my... you have it so difficult right there :( Damn! This is serious, because now that she is living with you guys... it might be harder to get rid of her. I really think your brother is blinded, but don't worry, if things fall into place he will come back to his senses... let's hope something happens that make him open his eyes and see her for who she really is: an awful person.

Have you ever thought of recording those fights she has with your and your mom? There are so many small gadgets out there that can allow you to do that... help you to record that since the beginning to the end (so she later doesn't tell your brother those things she said were recorded out of context!).

Honestly, recording her won't make a difference because she has trashed me and mom to him as well, that's how she convinced him to buy a house.. They're currently looking for a house, have been for over 6 months.. We just keep praying he won't find one, so far it's working (knock on wood) because every house has fallen through....
She wants the house so that when her mom and grandma lose there house they have a place to live.... My brother doesn't see that but my family does..

The situation definitely could be worse, but I just wish we weren't having any of these issues in the first place.... Mom has pain issues too and all the trouble this girl has Been stirring up is causing her to have more stressers and pain than necessary too..

The girl is friends with my cousin, and we found out she's done this type of stuff her whole life.... So it's not just us, she's programmed this way...
 
Do you have any big tough friends that could move in with you, not to fight with her but to crowd her out. Good people who could be responsible and double the ignoring of her, but be supportive of you. Wonder if that would work. lol I am praying for you and your mom & dad. :)
 
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