tryiong to vent so my pain will go down.

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cmetryme

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Nov 3, 2013
Messages
1,030
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
TX
well, im on an ungodly number of days and nights of pain levels off the chart. i dont even want to could in my log book. im livening with level 7/8/9 pain level everyday.

im really getting tired of the crying. even a nine hour drive to the mountains again is looking better to me.

my legs arms hands and feet are hurting so bad. the burning from the lupus is just killing me. my broken rib from the fall just keeps reminding me that its there with every breath and every turn i make with my body.

im taking way more of the it can kill me drugs than the doctor wants me to take. even 5 mins for low pain would be nice. im getting to the point where i wish that the drug would take me so this can all come to an end. i know it wont because im on such a low dose.

im really trying to keep it together here. it's getting so hard to do so.

im not even looking forward to going to AZ in May anymore.

things will get better i keep saying that to myself. im thinking one time i say it i will actually believe it.

the pain was so bad today i went fishing to get on top of the water as it does reduce the metal reaction and some of my pain. reduces the crying too. not the lupus pain at all.

i made it 3 hours and i never stopped moaning from the pain.

im trying to do every thing i can to make it through each day.

some days this just sucks!

may you all have better days than ive been having.

im go back to crying now..sorry if i upset you folks with my vent. i try to show you folks you can make it and sometimes i even can't make it. :cry:
 
Glad that you went fishing. I know it's hard to get your mind away from pain. On days when I flare to 8 or 9, I do a lot more meditating, guided and otherwise. Getting outside on a warm day helps when the weather cooperate. When it doesn't, I mindlessly binge on something of Netflix or Youtube. All to keep pain away from the front of my consciousness. Anything to keep pain from occupying my mind. I don't moan, I swear very loud and long. Hope you feel better soon.
 
Im sorry you are having so much pain. Im having a pretty bad day too. Gentle Hugs :)
 
thanks Jen.

i hope you get some relief soon.

Please feel free to friend me and private msg me if you feel the need to just chat.
 
pat, thanks for caring and sharing.

as i have the skin lupus the outside buns like hell.

I go to a covered fishing barge to stay out of the son.

I totally understand the cussing. i do it a lot. my wife asks me who are you cussing at?

yes keeping my mind off of the pain helps to reduce the pain level.

I went yesterday to give my wife a break from me and the moaning from the pain all the time.

i also made plans for her to have dinner with some friends without me. she works all the time and never gets out of the house.

She returned from the dinner and gave me a hug. said thank you for doing all that i did. she did need the break and the time out of the house.

i made her happy. thats what matters most to me. i want her to be happy and not suffer with me.

im feeling a little bit better today and i think the venting is helping with the pain.

your replies also help me.

keep posting y'all!

Big hugs to both of you.
 
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