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Lana

Senior member
Joined
Apr 6, 2014
Messages
223
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
05/2012
Country
CA
State
ON
I would like to now if anyone is having difficulty working, The demands of having a job is over whelming. That causes alot of stress to me, even though they tried to accommodate by reducing my hours, I still couldn't manage to get out of the door. I had to try to walk normal and fight the pain and the fatigue. I did not want people to see my stiffness and the lack of energy. So I had to put on a happy face. I had to stand and talk to my clients when everything in my body was telling me to sit down. The pain in my back and hips was severe, because I would ignored what my body was saying I got nausea and cold and hot sweats, I couldn't allow my clients to see what I was going through. I told my self NO YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THIS, DONT LET THEM SEE, it was so powerful it was trying to tear me down. I would clutch my hands and hold my breath as they where talking to me. I had trouble listening to what they were saying, they would notice that, and say I just told you that, aren't you listening. When I got in my car I would put my head on the steering wheel clutching it tightly with my hands. I started to cry but then I knew I had to go see my next client. I would say to myself ok get a grip wipe your tears and lets go. This was a fight I could not win anymore , it was to strong and I was becoming to weak. I eventually surrenderd to Fibromyalgia and quit my job.
 
Lana, I couldn't deal with work anymore either. I had very little energy to give, and that energy could either go towards my job or towards keeping myself functioning. If it went towards my job, I wasn't functioning well. So I gave up and quit. My husband and I are financially struggling, but I just don't have enough to give to a job yet. I am thinking about looking for something online that allows me to work at my own pace, but even that sounds like a lot to me at this point. We'll see... I may not have a choice but to try to go back to work soon...
 
I've made it VERY clear that I have fibromyalgia, and even put it on my job application when I began here just over 4 years ago. My co-workers are aware that I have it, and that is why I requested to work the latest shift possible (12:30 pm - 9:00 pm) because mornings are simply not possible. Still, I understand the "looks" that you occasionally get when you've taken a sick day (which I rarely do, but during a major exacerbation, my body demands rest).
 
I struggled badly two years at work before I was diagnosed with fibro. Many days off. Poor concentration. Fatigue. Pain. Frustration. Eventually I crashed and ended up in a psych hospital with a suicide plan. Going from overachiever to can't adequately do my job was a nightmare. There is only so long that you can suck it up and keep going. I tried reducing hours after the diagnosis, but found that even at 24 hours a week I was unable to do the intellectual and analytical parts of my jobs with efficiency or accuracy. I was crushed and eventually resigned my position. I had given up all outside activity at that point. Crashing when I came home and in bed most weekends.

Looking back, I can see that I had fibro for at least four years before I was diagnosed. I just pushed through and blamed it on aging. The symptoms started after viral meningitis.

I have been unemployed this year, trying to focus on improving my health with a hope of being gainfully employed at something interesting again.
 
I'm a single parent so even though it feels impossible to work full time, I have to. I have no other option at the moment (the ex is a dead beat, so no financial help there). I go to work, fake smile all the time, hide the pain, the stiffness, the bone-crushing fatigue, use lots of compensating techniques to cover the brain fog. I come home and crawl into bed to rest for an hour or so before I have the strength to make supper. I go to bed after supper and start all over the next day. Saturday I usually spend nearly all day in bed to recover from the week. Sunday I have to do laundry, grocery shop, mow the lawn, etc.

It sucks, but it is what it is. When the impossible is the only option, you do the impossible.
 
Lana, so sorry to read this, you have been thru a lot... I can feel your pain when I read what you described. It's terrible having to let go your job because fibro no longer allowed you to go on. It's terrible and can feel your pain. it's so hard to believe there still are people out there who still believe we are making the whole thing up. We know that's not true! I also lost my job and can't have a physical job for now, it's not cool at all... I do feel some stigma, a lot people think I'm just lazy and making things up so I don't have to work! Lucky peeps...
 
Lana, I'm so sorry you were forced to quit. I can relate, but am still trying to hold on. I've missed so much work the past gosh is it 6 months now? Ugh! I'm the major breadwinner so it makes it really scary. I find when I can get up and go to work, I feel overwhelmed. I suffer from headaches as well, which makes it even more difficult. Brain fog is real! I'm here to say, it definitely is! I'm in a very stressful job and am looking at applying for another position, but it's a new agency so kinda scary. I've been with my agency for 24 years. I know what it's like to force yourself to work, but then you can't function for your family. It's affected my relationship with my son. He isn't hardly talking to me. My heart is broken, but I did the best I could. He never wanted for anything. He's 25 and I finally had to ask him to leave....He totally blew telling me he thinks I'm crazy. Hang in there and do what you can. Accept those things you can't change. Look for ways to reduce stress. That's what I'm working on now. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen overnight. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find it as helpful and supportive as I have.....
 
I struggled with working for a year after the onset of my symptoms. That was the worst year of my life, I was working three full-time jobs seven days a week. I had to work a lot in order to live because my ex husband decide paying bills he help create was a crazy thing to do. Working with Fibromyalgia is almost impossible to do without suffering after your shift is over. I was in so much pain when I came home, I used a desk chair in the kitchen to prepare food, wash dishes and do laundry. The pain got so bad I was using a quad cane at work and home just to stand and walk. My jobs didn't care about my illness, they only cared about whether I was at work on-time with a smile. It was very hard for me to stop working I felt like my independence was gone. I worried about how bills would get paid especially since I end my marriage. But, then I asked myself how much longer can I live like this, working three jobs and struggling to walk, stand and, sleep. Although I'm still struggling to walk, stand and, sleep I now no longer have the added stress of working.
 
I have tried to cope with working, but it did not work for me. So now I am TRYING to get disability. I say TRYING because at my age Social Security figures I am too young to not work. Never mind I am diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, chronic neck and back pain, depression, and anxiety. What does age have to do with being disabled?! I have been working customer service pretty much all my life. Prolonged sitting flares me up. Stress flares my pain and also causes anxiety attacks. Oh! I forgot to mention I have migraines, too. To this day, I am no longer working. I had to get a lawyer to represent me. I am waiting to go before a judge. That could take months and some say years. If it doesn't pan out, I will be right back in the workforce (honestly I kinda miss having my own money). I don't know what I'll be able to do, but I won't have much choice in the matter. Right now, though, I am suffering at home.
 
Wow, Lana, I am so giving you the biggest hug (without hurting you of course)...I have read all the replies ...Why in the world won't the doctors take us seriously! Do you think any of us want to not work, use our brains, feel confident and fulfilled, financially take care of ourselves...like we just woke up one day and got lazy...really....And yes, you are correct, employers do not want to deal with your health issues....they're in business to make money and every dime they spend on your employment is to their benefit...Kind of makes me think of a race horse who wins, wins, wins for the Owner, then comes up lame and they put him down or out to pasture... The last six months of my employment last year I started to feel the symptoms pretty strongly, I too would rest all weekend just to be able to work another 5 days...and I don't have kids to worry about..My heart truly goes out to all of you trying to take care of families (more demands on your already exhausted bodies)...So I have been out of work since January to help with my aging mother but need to get back to work soon...do I feel up to it..hell no! I too am thinking of trying to do something from home to make money because I can't count on my body to make it through a work week...
 
Thank you all for your replies, its so sad hearing all the suffering. Maybe one day there will be a cure. Until then keep your heads up and don't forget you are not alone.
 
Sorry you are going through so much. I am working from home at the moment and know I could never go to work normal for a company, again. It's hard.
 
Tbird1977, can I ask your age? I just received the results of my nerve and MRI tests. Not good. No obvious pinched nerves. Stenosis in neck and low back with a lot of arthritis. I'm leaning toward disability because I'm pretty much out of options. I'm just curious if you're my age or much younger. I'll be 50 in August. I'm hoping I don't have a fight on my hands. I've thought about getting an attorney right at the beginning. I'll have to apply for state disability and social security. It's going to be very tight financially, but not sure what else I can do. I'd love to have some extra energy for my family and right now I can't even get out of bed on a regular basis to work after 29 years.... :-(
 
I struggled with working for a year after the onset of my symptoms. That was the worst year of my life, I was working three full-time jobs seven days a week. I had to work a lot in order to live because my ex husband decide paying bills he help create was a crazy thing to do. Working with Fibromyalgia is almost impossible to do without suffering after your shift is over. I was in so much pain when I came home, I used a desk chair in the kitchen to prepare food, wash dishes and do laundry. The pain got so bad I was using a quad cane at work and home just to stand and walk. My jobs didn't care about my illness, they only cared about whether I was at work on-time with a smile. It was very hard for me to stop working I felt like my independence was gone. I worried about how bills would get paid especially since I end my marriage. But, then I asked myself how much longer can I live like this, working three jobs and struggling to walk, stand and, sleep. Although I'm still struggling to walk, stand and, sleep I now no longer have the added stress of working.

Woah, I can totally relate! I'm so sorry you had to go thru this! I guess your pain is a bit better now that you no longer work? I heard that stress does make things worse in terms of pain. I think it does, because lately my tension is causing me headaches and neck pain.
 
I am having trouble working too. I'm wondering how other people arrange their lives to accommodate work? What kinds of jobs do other people do that pay the bills? If you don't have a spouse to share bills?

Here's my situation: My fibro cycles on a yearly cycle (flares in spring/summer, much better in late fall and winter - not sure why). When I'm able to work and can find a job I work so hard that I wonder if I'm precipitating the crash period. Getting disability is tricky because I can't sustain a job all year, but I'm not 'disabled' all year. And it's pretty tough to live on disability where I live anyway. I should be able to work from home, but I tried contract research/evaluation work and can't make enough to live on. The 'feast or famine' work cycle of contract work is too unpredictable and it is overwhelming at times. I don't have a spouse to share costs with. I have massive loan repayments from university. So I'm looking for ideas about how to make work actually work with fibro?
 
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