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im-grouchy-and-bite

Active member
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
99
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/1988
Country
US
State
na
I get so tired of never being understood by anyone

My doctors my counselor my wife sure as hell not my family

And support net or life

Everyone is learn your limits or listen to your body etc to much to list wife I just don't understand this or that

Try living from school age till late 20s being called every name lazy useless worthless not trying excuses

To much to list now everyone is like o just shut it off you can't you can catch it watch for signs eetc get some control I'm a stubborn sob I fight all I can but you can't win against you're head all the time when it's that fubar

I have been refused at ERs called druggie drug seeking all that because I hide I can smile and talk till I pass out

My wife has been 11 years now trying to get me to admit I'm in pain and how much

Trying to get me to take pain pills I always thought I deserved to suffer for who and how I was

I always thought that more pain ment I was doing my job better I tought my head to want it

11 years ago when I met her I was at burn out and bottoming out

I have found it so hard and almost impossible to change over 20 some years of living and dealing with my

Crap the hardest and still is is she said your going to express your pain let it out

I still haven't figured that out I grunt or cuss and I say there that's all you get lol

I just get so tired of walking a walk where I always have to be alone or misunderstood

I'm tired of so many disorders mental and physical and being hated for who I am

Tired of death teasing me I have almost died 12 times or more mostly medication problems

Like wow even he doesn't want me

There that's my whining bad day rant

Thanks
 
One funny thing is what our father's give us

My father was a great man he was military but also a curse I don't know how to quit or give up or things like that

Part of what my wife likes always there my counselor harass me every time I say I'm done or I'm quitting she says you don't know how

It sucks sometimes I really wish I did and could but I just can't

Part of what gets me in so much fibromyalgia trouble I can't leave half done jobs or even when to sore to move and I drive by a person in need I have to stop and help

Morales code of conduct honor stubborn never quit man why me just give me a labotamy jello and a drewl bib o and my sponge bath o happy dreams and wishes
 
imgrouchy,

I hear your pain and frustration. You are young yet so I will hazard a piece of advice: Don't drive away the only people on earth who LOVE you. I don't live your life but I do live with constant pain and get misunderstood, but I do understand that NO ONE can understand what we go through--neither could we if we didn't live it. We have to give them a huge pass when they don't get it.

cmetryme says he explains the pain to others with a clothespin. Have them put it on themselves for as long as possible, it won't be long, and then tell them that you have that pain all over and it doesn't go away.

I suspect you need to come to peace with this--please forgive me if I'm overstepping--but attitude is huge in managing the pain, the relationships and the junk in life. Look forward to being the best YOU, research to help yourself; there are many, many things you can do to improve you life, this is just a part of your life, not the whole!
 
Thanks I try my wife gets a pass more than anyone else in my life I have made changes and opened up allot of hard steps I did because I love her and she tries to understand and always helps me

My parents there no fault it wasn't known and they try to listen rest of the family screw them lol sorry but yes you're right I have anger and trust and just people problems

My skills lack and haven't had anything positive make me want to change or work on them but I have to let the ones close to me in more and less rough

Don't know just hard to figure things out with all that people have shown me like that kicked dog in the corner I'm tired of games lies and the nasty crap people do to me to each other other

Thanks allot
 
we are here for you. thanks for venting. take each day slowly my friend. dont over do it. thats an order! lol
i hear you!
 
Hello and welcome to the forum. I can hear the sadness and deep felt pain that your expressing brought on by all those people of whom we all know that make our lives a living hell by not believing we are in pain. I hear you loud and clear, understanding that same hurt that comes from friends and loved ones and strangers who by their own stern standards are to blind in their opinions to stop and realize how wrong they are.

I have put up with a lot of anger and hurt and mistrust, due to people like you have had the dishonor of knowing and the only way I found to deal with such people is to speak up when necessary and stay as far away as possible as often as you can. when we try and spend time with people who drag us down all it does is cause us more pain and anger, and depression. It services no purpose when we hang around and get told how worthless we are and we need to get a job. In my family even though I was self-employed, it was not real work, for real work is working for someone else. when I got disability my family members thought I was lazy and did not deserve it that I was faking my illness. These comments hurt us and cause a deep long lasting self-esteem loss that can be fixed by getting counseling.

Try to find a therapist that is trained and certified in EMDR. This is a different sort of therapy that helps our mind to heal from trauma and really works. Also I suggest that you do a web search to find out more about it. I had this treatment to deal with the loss of my job and being unable to work, and from the negative comments from people I knew and loved. And now I am much stronger in dealing with it all and very glad I had therapy.

Glad you found us and hope to see you around the forum. :)
 
Thank you so much

I will look that up I'm in special counseling for bipolar disorder adhd ptsd my past I have rage disorder and to many to list

I'm happy and proud of who I am now compared to 6 years ago when I started it I can actually say that I like myself and I have gifts not disorders

We can deal with our past but I have found mine to always be holding on no matter how much control we take back I still catch myself doing old habits

Or old ways sometimes I catch myself sometimes I don't realize until it's too late

But I have allot more control now than back then I take allot better care of myself but it's always under the dark water just waiting for a chance

Thank you all
 
Some of the hardest things in life is learning to let go of who u thought u should be, and learning to be who u are.x
 
Thanks

That's the hardest part of fibromyalgia and chronic and all the rest of the crap but counseling is helping

But letting go of all the things that are taken from me but its coming hard when it speeds up like now and they go faster than you can adjust

I'm learning new things to do but the main reason for this post is people who don't know our past and the damage it's permently done to us

and always making it sound like we can just stop being stuck in over drive I have learned to manage to watch but it never goes away or ends

I still catch myself pushing to hard or to far plus being bipolar doesn't help manic attacks do a number it's something that you have to have gone through to truly understand

thanks for the help and feedback
 
Forgetmenot, that was great advise, I'll have to remember that when speaking to others. Now where did I put that memory? Just kidding, but I will write it down.
 
I feel all your guys pain I truly do. I use to be a very hard working full stone student and worker and mom but now being new to this illness and all the damn pain. Everyone is either I am falling it which I have never in my life shit my mom has to fight with me to go to the dr . Or that I milking it. Whatever no matter how much I explain tpnthe prove to them that I not what they are thinking it makes no differenve .I am so fed up with is I feel lost lonely and it is way to overwhelming. they have no clue what people with this are going through and or not wanting to even try to understand I say even most dr s to. I just hope it just better not just for me for anyone that has to go though what I do.
 
sunshine. please see my post under general discussions called "what is fibromyalgia". also see my post "starting a daily log book and why it helps"

the post will tell you how to explain the fibro and the clothes pin will show them the pain your having all the time.

If they do not want to try the pin, then tell them to stop telling you things (milking it) about something they know nothing about.
 
I'm bi polar also.
 
Lord do I know how you feel.
I lost my job from being so sick and all my mother wants to know is whether or not I've been looking for a new job.
I'm a nurse and my symptoms didn't start until I began nursing school.
Now I'm to the point where I'm so sick I can no longer work (I'm getting EDD THANK GOD and I'm in the process of applying for Disability and SSA/SSI.)
And its like think about it...am I lazy? Did I seriously take a $20,000 student loan, work my ass off for two years and then just POOF one day I decided to be lazy and not clean or move or make money?
I can not stand doctors and people I know personally who think I'm making this shit up, are saying that I'm in pain as an excuse or that I'm lazy.
Out of all my doctors and all the people I know, only two freaking believe me when I say that there is something wrong.
My husband and my dad.
No one else.
I truly understand what you're going through and please know that you're not alone.
 
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