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ChinaCat

Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2017
Messages
20
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
05/2017
Country
US
State
IL
Hi All,

I've been lurking on this forum for about 2 months now and finally decided to post! Here's my story:

I am a 40yo woman in very good physical condition. I played a full contact sport for about 6 years (ages 26-30ish) before quitting because I was in constant pain.

I want to stay physical for a healthy heart and joints and maintain my weight. So I joined Crossfit and had to quit due to pain. I started swimming and had to quit because of pain. I like running but had to quit due to pain. You can see where this is going.

I went to doctors: chiros, orthos, etc. They told me I had tendonitis, or runner's knees, or ankle impingement, or degenerative arthritis. But how am I so broke down at such a young age? It never made sense to me.

A couple of months ago I had a really really bad flare up and had to wait 3 weeks to see my PCP. He did not utter the word "fibromyalgia" but he put me on Cymbalta and sent me to the rheumatologist. We did blood tests and xrays. Blood was negative for everything. Xrays showed minor degenerative arthritis. No "real" reason for the chronic pain. He diagnosed me with FM.

I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. Pain is one of those things that people like to talk about, but no one wants to hear about. So I've been coming here and feeling a bit validated. FM is tough because there is no singular thing you can point to for a fix. If you cut your finger and bleed, you know the cut caused the bleeding and you bandage it. Not so with FM.

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. A lot of times I see posts about people who can barely walk, and I think I should be grateful because it could always be worse. That I should suck it up and tough it out because I'm not bedridden.

Anyway. Thanks for reading. I appreciate all of the support you give each other.
 
Hi ChinaCat, thanks for introducing yourself and welcome.

From your description of quitting various things due to pain and diagnosis after misdiagnosis, I think all of us here can relate! It's a tough one.....being diagnosed with fibro....but at least you now know what's causing the problem.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, especially because you liked to run and play sport. All is not lost....there are some that can get back to exercise and running by working up to it slowly and gently and with persistence. As for the rest of us...we are of varying age groups and levels of fitness and have to make adjustments to our lives. If you've been reading the forum you will have come across the exercise thread....lots of good tips there but the main thing is to go at your own pace, not what anyone else tells you (including health professionals).

Yes, we can all feel lucky because there is always someone worse off than ourselves but some days it still gets us down! I hope the Cymbalta is having some good effect for you. Keep in touch and we can all help each other get through.
 
Chinacat welcome to the forum - it is always great to have another cat among us :)))) Cats are awesome! All animals are awesome!

For all of us having to cope with fibro, it has been a journey of losses. And with loss comes, comes grief. Sadly the only thing we have to do is to accept our losses, mourn them, but find other resources/tasks/activities that makes us happy.

Personally, fibro and mental illness have made me such a thankful person - any day I've learned to appreciate the little things we all often take/took for granted. A nice cup of tea, 10 minutes of walking or just sitting outside in the sun/rain, warmth in the winter, cool breeze on a hot summer 's day, a ray of sunshine after a storm, a day you managed to cook, clean and do the laundry (yippie yeah!).....

I've also always been a very active person and I also took pride in being independent. Now being dependent on others and not being able to do much even on a good day, it is a daily reminder of my losses, but then I try to be thankful for what I have. My cat and animal friends are my life, my reason for existence, my reason to get up every day. I have to take care of them, and in turn I take care of my well-being.

So I really hope you find new passions and new hobbies very soon. And slowly get used to your new reality. Try also to keep an open mind - I, for example, thought doing puzzles and coloring books were such boring lonely hobbies, but now I love it! I love dancing, but instead of dancing classes, now I can manage to dance 2-3 times a week to my favorite song and it makes me so happy. :)))))
 
Thanks all! I think my impetus for finally posting was because of my f/u appt yesterday. After 2 mos of research the symptoms all seemed to fit and make sense, but there was this... doubt. But after protesting with my doctor yesterday, he basically shut me down and said I've got it. He's seen it, he treats it, he knows it. And then being prescribed more meds... I look at all these bottles and it's overwhelming!
But then I get some perspective. It's not THAT bad. I can't run, but I can walk. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to, but there's you guys and I know people still love me. I also think back to when I was go-go-go all the time and so wiped out and tired and just wishing I could have a break! And now I know I have to take care of myself and that I can say no to stuff. I can cherish those moments of quiet and stillness and see them as opportunities of healing and rejuvenation.

Of course I say all this today... and tomorrow might be different. But for now I'll just focus on today.

Thank you all so much for all of the support you lend each other. I know it means so much to so many.
 
Hello Chinacat. I am new to this site too. Glad we have someplace safe to talk about our feelings and pains where we are not judeged.
 
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