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ddnlj

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No one in my family gets it. I'm the only woman in a family of men, so it's up to me to make the holidays happen. I spent the first part of the week shopping, spent two days cooking, by Thanksgiving night I was absolutely exhausted. Now I'm hurting all over. My IBS is going wild. I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

Not one of them says "hey, let's get together and do Thanksgiving for YOU this year." I've gotten to where I hate holidays. Husband says "well, you don't have to do it then." If I don't do it, no one will.

I don't get a break at all. I have to work full time. I cook, clean, shop, pay the bills. I do it all. There are times, like today, when I just want to crawl in a hole and be left alone. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sometimes I just don't want to go on this way.:cry:
 
ddnlj,

There are grocery stores you can order a holiday dinner from a grocery store. Or a buffet? Your husband is right, YOU don't have to do this. Whether or not you are understood, if no one is interested in helping by at least bringing a dish to share, you are the only one who can give yourself a break. (I had to start bowing out of things years ago when I had multiple migraines every week).

Blessings
 
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Hi ddnlj,

Can you in the future cook the turkey, gravy, one other dish and ask others to bring the rest? Just because they're men, that's not an excuse to not cook. They can figure out how to cook or at the very least buy the side dishes to bring. Also ask others to help with dishes or buy disposable. I'm sorry no one helps out, that's not fair!
 
Holidays are supposed to be fun and not drudgery. I think having everyone bring something is yummy and so much less exhausting. My son and his wife host Thanksgiving now, but all of us bring a dish or two for the meal. It makes for a great menu as well. When you're not doing it all, you can be more creative. Try getting everyone organized early for next year. You need a break. Take care and hugs.
 
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