Does CFS affect your Sex Life?

[JadeDoo]

This is a topic that I haven't seen talked about on the forum. Thought I might start the thread and see if there's an commonality with regards to Sex and Fibro/CFS. I tend to think your sex drive goes down significantly for me but it could be an age thing as well. Not exactly sure.

 

[Trellum]

I suffer from Fibro which (I've heard) is very similar to CFS. Having a healthy sexual life with fibro can be tricky for some, but very possible for others, fortunately I fit into the last group. Sometimes having sex can be painful, sometimes I don't feel in the mood and just want to sleep, but it's definitely possible for me I know others can hardly do it (sadly), others don't seem to have problems with that at all too. It's really depends on the person and how bad the condition is CFS and fibro is different.

 

[TinaL]

I have Fibro and my sex life in the last 2 years has been zero. I still have the desire but the pain is what stops me and if I do enjoy some intimacy with my hubby it takes at least 2 days to recover. The other problem is my hubby knows I hurt and so is hesitant to touch me and even in the heat of the moment it is in the back of his mind so it makes it hard for him to enjoy.

 

[CrystalMarie]

It definitely affected my sex life and almost destroyed my relationship because my significant other did not understand my issues. I was always tired and he felt like I was no longer attracted to him. This was not true because I have always found him very attractive, I just was not in the mood to have sex like I did once before. After getting my symptoms under control, our sex life went back to regular.

 

[links56]

It definitely affected my sex life and almost destroyed my relationship because my significant other did not understand my issues. I was always tired and he felt like I was no longer attracted to him. This was not true because I have always found him very attractive, I just was not in the mood to have sex like I did once before.

Same exact thing happened to me except I'm a male. I couldn't put it into words better. Sex is definitely possible when I'm not experiencing side effects from anti depressants, but it sure isn't like it was.

 

[stardisgate]

For me, I am always in the mood. Even if I am extremely tired, I will force myself to do it, because it just feels that amazing. I can be practically passed out and still be wanting it.

 

[wander_n_wonder]

I'm quite sure there's a direct relationship between sex and fibro, mainly because fibro puts you to bed all the time because you feel tired. It makes you really not to be in the mood to do anything, most especially activities which are very physical in nature. My friend who has been suffering from fibro almost got divorced by her husband because of lack of sexual contact for months. At first, the husband was rather understanding of her condition, but eventually it got to him and he got tired of the situation.

 

[emilyj]

Yes, being tired and in pain constantly does not really make me want to have sex. That's for sure. Fortunately, my husband has been really understanding about it. And even though sex doesn't happen as frequently as it once did, what we are doing more is more cuddling and petting. Especially if I'm having a really bad pain day, I appreciate it so much when he gently rubs my back or my hands and feet. When I'm feeling good, I make sure I take advantage of that too! Sex may not be as frequent, but when it happens, we appreciate it so much more now.

 

[terbaer]

I agree, it sure does affect the energy. I'm in a similar situation as you EmilyJ. My husband too is very understanding. I think about sex and want it like I always have, but just don't have the energy. If approached, I never say no though! Sometimes I can't be as active of a participant, but we talk and laugh and I can honestly say that because of this disease, if anything positive can be said about it, I have never felt closer to my husband. Definitely not as frequent as we used too, but always make sure he's satisfied.....He tries to do the same....

 

[nashvilleshelby]

Terbaer, it is good that he is understanding. It is also good that you never say no. That is so important to make some time and save energy for that.

 

[allaloneJade]

terbaer, I am in the exact same boat. I never say no and we both make sure the other is taken care of. I know my husband understands my position as at one time he was on some antidepressants and the mood nor the function was what it normally was without meds, so he understands that medication and the pain can make it next to impossible if not impossible at times to want it and really enjoy it.

 

[terbaer]

AllaloneJade, sure does sound like the same situation. My husband too was put on an antidepressant when his mother passed away a few years back. We worked through it then, and now that it's me, we work through it now. A loving and understanding spouse can sure take the pressure off....

 

[LivetoErr]

I don't know if it is because I've had medical issues since I was per-pubescent, but I could care less about sex.

I'll have it but I can't say that I'd really enjoy it. I'd enjoy it more if it lasted for 10 or less minutes but that never happens. I can't do standard positions for long as my hips ache to a point I can no longer bear the pain. Even if I feel like I'm in the mood, once it starts I can't wait for it to be over.

 

[terbaer]

Unfortunately, it's all in the partner, I believe. Do you have a significant other? If not, I'd make that one of the criteria. The individual best be willing to take it slooow and be sensitive to your pain and tender spots. You need to find a positions book and look through that. Would your partner be open to talking and walking through it?

 

[Trellum]

It definitely affected my sex life and almost destroyed my relationship because my significant other did not understand my issues. I was always tired and he felt like I was no longer attracted to him. This was not true because I have always found him very attractive, I just was not in the mood to have sex like I did once before. After getting my symptoms under control, our sex life went back to regular.

Crysta, so sorry to hear that, but in my opinion no woman in your situation should feel bad if something like that happens. Because if a partner doesn't understand and starts thinking that, then it just means that person is so insecure. That has nothing to do with you, only with him, so I'd not even think about it if it ever happens again.