Feel weak and have bambi legs (very wobbly)

[Gothicbean]

My aunt has fibromyalgia and she does fine walking it seems but for me if I walk too much my legs just want to give out. I've started to use a walking stick when outside and need to get a cane but hate even typing that out. I'm 22 I shouldn't need a cane.....why can she walk better than me at 40ish than I can? I'm glad she can I'm just confused, does fibromyalgia affect different people differently? I'm assuming it does just like anything else. I do fine around the house usually but I can take take breaks but when I went to the fair I thought "Hey I'll be fine" and ended up using my friend as a support locking arms with them. I feel like I'm giving up by using a cane but it helps me function and that isn't giving in. I'm just very torn and still coming to terms with this.

 

[sunkacola]

One very important thing I learned with this whole thing is never to compare myself with anyone else, whether or not they have fibromyalgia. It's never beneficial to do so. There will always be people who can do things I can't, and also who can't do things I can. Who are better looking, richer, whatever. So what. I have enough to manage with my own life and don't compare myself to anyone else.

Yes, it affects everyone very differently, and many other disorders, diseases, and syndromes do that as well. With MS for instance, some can't walk, others can't talk, others are in pain but can walk and talk....etc.

A principle I live by is that unless there's very likely to be a factual answer to the question, I never ask "why?" Why something affects one person differently from another, why this happened to that person instead of another.....none of those kinds of "why" questions can be answered, and are better avoided.

I understand your reluctance to use a cane. But if it really helps you in a way that you need, then I suggest you invest in a cane that is really, really cool. Find one on Etsy or eBay that has a fancy or unusual or beautiful look to it that you like, and that you can see as an accessory instead of something you "shouldn't" need until you are 95 years old. That's what I did when I had a motorcycle injury and had to use a cane for a while. I avoided the ones that looked "old person" to me, and used one that had flair. It really helped my feelings about the whole thing.

You are not "giving up". Why make things more difficult for you than they have to be? If you are living with a condition that makes your life hard, then grab those things that make it easier and enjoy them.

 

[Gothicbean]

One very important thing I learned with this whole thing is never to compare myself with anyone else, whether or not they have fibromyalgia. It's never beneficial to do so. There will always be people who can do things I can't, and also who can't do things I can. Who are better looking, richer, whatever. So what. I have enough to manage with my own life and don't compare myself to anyone else.

Yes, it affects everyone very differently, and many other disorders, diseases, and syndromes do that as well. With MS for instance, some can't walk, others can't talk, others are in pain but can walk and talk....etc.

A principle I live by is that unless there's very likely to be a factual answer to the question, I never ask "why?" Why something affects one person differently from another, why this happened to that person instead of another.....none of those kinds of "why" questions can be answered, and are better avoided.

I understand your reluctance to use a cane. But if it really helps you in a way that you need, then I suggest you invest in a cane that is really, really cool. Find one on Etsy or eBay that has a fancy or unusual or beautiful look to it that you like, and that you can see as an accessory instead of something you "shouldn't" need until you are 95 years old. That's what I did when I had a motorcycle injury and had to use a cane for a while. I avoided the ones that looked "old person" to me, and used one that had flair. It really helped my feelings about the whole thing.

You are not "giving up". Why make things more difficult for you than they have to be? If you are living with a condition that makes your life hard, then grab those things that make it easier and enjoy them.

Thank you that makes me feel a lot better I'm surrounding myself with people who understand and even have a friend who has an awesome idea for a cane (same one who helped me steady myself). Sometimes I just need to spit out the feelings and have peoples opinions who have the condition.

 

[JayCS]

I've started to use a walking stick when outside and need to get a cane but hate even typing that out.

Great advice by @sunkacola. I think I'd use them if they'd help me. But by trying Nordic walking several times in the fibro clinic, I realized they were making things worse, increasing my arm muscle and wrist joint problems and not decreasing leg problems. Walking altogether is for me on the one side an energy problem, and on the other usually increases many local pains, esp. in knees, elbows and feet. For the first time in a long time, I managed 30' fairly fast with my wife on Saturday and was surprised that those typical local pains didn't come up at all, maybe cos I've treated them well, but a small pain in one ankle, my left neck (which I recently strained) and nausea (which I have regularly this year).
Instead, slow cycling works for me, sometimes using the bike for support when walking a bit.

But Nordic walking sticks might be an option for others, as they'd look sporty stylish, and if necessary solve the problem of one-sided posture. The other people in that fibro group trying them found them helpful.

riverwalkingsticks has a great blog called walking-sticks-vs-canes about the difference - sticks being for short term sporty use, often with flashy, but then painful handles etc., canes for long term support use. Most people use the words interchangeably, "wrongly" considering that difference. They also have photos of how it was used to look slick, fashionable and of importance. Made me watch Fred Astaire dancing to Puttin' on the Ritz - wow, I think I want one of 'em, magic wand methinks .
They write "During this ancient era, man used a walking stick as a traveling aid over uneven grounds. Also, he used it as a sign of authority, a defense weapon, and a symbol of social status."
They also have a pic showing what size the cane needs to be, with a young person, hand in pocket, doesn't look bad at all.
I guess due to the interchangeability, we could also reinterpret a cane as something powerful and for smacking anyone who makes fun of it. . I remember having to use one of the two after first crutches after a broken leg yonks ago, thick with a circular bent handle - is that then a cane? On pics I see for a cane a grip handle.

 

[sunkacola]

a cane can indeed be a nice weapon if needed Also, I note that more and more people, including those who are young and very fit, are using hiking sticks when they are on the trail. A walking stick was a fashionable accessory a hundred years or so ago, and for some time prior to that. Maybe we need to bring it back again as something fashionable and desireable and then no one will feel they stand out in any but a good way if they need to use one!

 

[PeanutAl]

As someone who was diagnosed at age 26/27, and is now 29, the best thing I did was get a cane. I had the same concerns - I'm in my 20's, I shouldn't need a cane, this is ridiculous, I'm a young adult I shouldn't need a walking stick, but it was the best thing I did. I too find myself very wobbily, and feeling weak particularly in my hips and knees. My Fibro seems to really hang onto old injuries, and I used to work as a park ranger at a busy fishery, so I have a fair few.
It is the opposite of giving up to admit you need some extra assistance to be able to function at the same level as an able bodied person. There is no weakness at all in admitting that you require different aids to make your life as normal as possible. You'd never ever criticise someone with a broken bone for wearing a cast, nor an asthma sufferer using an inhaler, and using a cane when you have mobility issues is no different.
I recommend the collapsable canes, they're really easy to break down and tuck in a rucksack if you don't need it, and then there if you do. They also feel cool to flick out and have it all lock into place haha. I jazzed mine up with a bunch of meme stickers and rather than mock my friends just enjoyed laughing at the meme's with me.
Hope this helps - Stay strong, you're worth it <3

 

[sunkacola]

It is the opposite of giving up to admit you need some extra assistance

^^^ THIS