Yousernayme
New member
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2023
- Messages
- 2
- Country
- US
Hi! New here. Just needing a little validation in a world of dismissal.
I’ve had fibro for a while as well as PTSD and a herniated disc in my lower back and degenerative disc disease in my neck.
Currently, I’m having a bad flare with nerve pain that’s been severe and lasting over two weeks now. I find that when I can’t get a break from the nerve pain especially, the “fog” (what a dismissing name) gets worse. I start to feel like I’m getting dementia or losing my sanity.
My cognitive function is scary off. Yesterday I drove home and completely forgot how to turn off my headlights off, as if I hadn’t driven this car for almost three years. For five minutes, I messed with every knob and dial and could not figure out how to turn them off. I ended up looking it up on YouTube and the second I saw how, it all came rushing back like “duh”. The other day my husband held my hand and it felt so foreign. I asked him if that’s how we usually hold hands. It was.
The dissociation and derealization is trippy. For example, I’m very aware that it’s my hand playing the ukulele but I feel like I have no conscious effort. Like I’m on super auto pilot and am just along for the ride. I watched myself playing yesterday and was really amazed. Like how am I keeping up with a strum pattern? How are my legs still moving when all I feel is pain and out of my body? Today I started seeing shadows and flashing lights and just felt so heavy. Like my limbs were full of metal. I was very literally dragging and crawling. I felt flattened by the overwhelming pain sensations and fatigue.
I’ve had ALL the brain tests and I see a therapist weekly so I’m confident that my brain is just exhausted from not having a break from the pain and fibro flares and ptsd flares seem to go hand in hand.
I think I’m just needing some validation that this just sucks and that I’m not going insane. I’m really trying to reframe the Intrusive/anxious thoughts and stay in coping mode.
Thanks for listening and I hope everyone is coping the best that they can
I’ve had fibro for a while as well as PTSD and a herniated disc in my lower back and degenerative disc disease in my neck.
Currently, I’m having a bad flare with nerve pain that’s been severe and lasting over two weeks now. I find that when I can’t get a break from the nerve pain especially, the “fog” (what a dismissing name) gets worse. I start to feel like I’m getting dementia or losing my sanity.
My cognitive function is scary off. Yesterday I drove home and completely forgot how to turn off my headlights off, as if I hadn’t driven this car for almost three years. For five minutes, I messed with every knob and dial and could not figure out how to turn them off. I ended up looking it up on YouTube and the second I saw how, it all came rushing back like “duh”. The other day my husband held my hand and it felt so foreign. I asked him if that’s how we usually hold hands. It was.
The dissociation and derealization is trippy. For example, I’m very aware that it’s my hand playing the ukulele but I feel like I have no conscious effort. Like I’m on super auto pilot and am just along for the ride. I watched myself playing yesterday and was really amazed. Like how am I keeping up with a strum pattern? How are my legs still moving when all I feel is pain and out of my body? Today I started seeing shadows and flashing lights and just felt so heavy. Like my limbs were full of metal. I was very literally dragging and crawling. I felt flattened by the overwhelming pain sensations and fatigue.
I’ve had ALL the brain tests and I see a therapist weekly so I’m confident that my brain is just exhausted from not having a break from the pain and fibro flares and ptsd flares seem to go hand in hand.
I think I’m just needing some validation that this just sucks and that I’m not going insane. I’m really trying to reframe the Intrusive/anxious thoughts and stay in coping mode.
Thanks for listening and I hope everyone is coping the best that they can