Hello Everyone!

[sunkacola]

I increase slowly,because my big fault is exercising, or trying to do a bit of garden tidying or housework, and because it feels good I keep going... And then the fatigue hits me the next day. I am learning the balance of moving as much as I can but stopping before I do too much. Mostly works.

Good for you, and this is the best approach.
I want to say, though, that it's important also not to feel bad if you occasionally overdo it and then pay dearly for it. I have been managing fibromyalgia for many years now, and I still overdo it sometimes.

A friend of mine once said to me, years ago when I was still trying to figure out how to do a weight-lifting routine every day as I used to, that I needed to "find the sweet spot". My honest reply was, "That would be a lot easier to find if it didn't keep moving!"

Some days we can do more, some days less, and it's not always easy to tell what kind of day it is. Of course, one can always stop if there's a twinge in the back, or fatigue starts to creep up, but sometimes it seems just fine, it seems you stop at a good place, and you still feel like hell the next day. On those occasions I find my greatest challenge is not to berate myself for overdoing it, and to manage the natural frustration I feel because I can't do what I used to be able to do.

So if what you are doing "mostly works", you are doing well.

 

[SBee]

Haha @sunkacola you are so right.

Yes that sweet spot that is ever changing doesn't help does it? I think because it's still early days for me and learning by trial and error, I am sticking to a cautious 20\30 minute careful exertion. Then trying to stop. But sometimes in real life, we all just simply have to do more than we know we should, to keep our homes and life working.

Thanks for reminding me that if the fatigue when even keeping to a ' sensible' work it isn't a failure, with such an unpredictable condition.
Whilst I feel for you, it gives me some reassurance that those who have had years of working with some nasty symptoms still find some days just don't want to co-operate. Each day I just need to do my best, and accept some possible consequences are just out of my hands.

Thank you for your continuing advice and encouragement.

 

[JayCS]

That would be a lot easier to find if it didn't keep moving

Definitely.
Often I can use as a measure that I can push thru an Ache of 3 for 20 mins. or of 4 for 5 mins, whilst I shouldn't push thru a pain of 5. So the "sweet spot" is something inside of me, rather than knowing how many repetitions or minutes or load I can take.
But only "often", by far not always, because in my case there's much more than pain/Ache I need to watch out for,
and whilst doing something we've got our cortisol flowing ("adrenaline" as we say) and that hides our symptoms, even for a bit after we stop. That's where my wife or mates have to remind me to stop and "think" (= feel) a few minutes.

 

[SBee]

@JayCS
think (= feel)
That's something I need to try to remember, to listen to my body and act appropriately.

Have written that in my own notebook of hints!

 

[sunkacola]

Each day I just need to do my best, and accept some possible consequences are just out of my hands.

Yes, exactly this.
And, the fact is, this is true of everything we do, no matter who we are and no matter how healthy we are or what our individual struggles ight be, and no matter how perfect our lives might be or not be. No one has control over the consequences of their actions at any time. We think we do, we make plans, we say we are going to do this or that. And a lot of the time it turns out that we do, so we think that we have control. But even something so simple as going to the store for milk might happen or it might not, is contingent upon a thousand different things happening just the right way, and it is entirely out of one's control whether or not those things happen.

The more I can remember this, I find, the better. Letting go of trying to control outcomes and instead focusing on accepting what is in the present moment and doing my best to do the right thing each day makes life a lot more livable.

 

[sunkacola]

That's something I need to try to remember, to listen to my body and act appropriately.

I am not the least bit a "Pollyanna" type of person, but nothing is ever all bad or all good, and one positive thing that has come for me out of having fibromyalgia is that it has taught me to listen to my body. I never used to sort of "consult" with my body before doing something, or listen to pain trying to tell me that maybe it was time to stop. I treated my body as if it were a machine...... the body should just do what I want when I want it to.

I have a different relationship with my body these days. I actually "ask" myself, by stopping a moment and sort of going inside and feeling through my body, to see if it is OK today to do this or that, if it is something more than the usual daily activity. And if my body says no, I don't do it, or I do very little of it. If I am in the middle of something and my back or legs start to twinge, the first signal that serious pain is on the way, I stop immediately. I don't, as I used to, tell my body to shut up, that I can do more and should just push through. This has been one of the hardest things for me to learn.

Unfortunately, this means that things don't get done the way they used to. I used to be a person who always got everything done. I never put things off. I have been wanting to repaint my living room for some time now, and finally chose the new color and am looking forward so much to a fresh new look. But I have had the paint sitting in my house since last April and it still has not happened because first it was this then that which meant my body couldn't do the job. If I don't get it done before May it will have to wait until November because it's too hot here between May and November to paint. It's not easy for me to be OK with this kind of thing. But it's all a lesson in being more mellow and going with the flow.

 

[SBee]

That's an interesting and thought provoking post for me @sunkacola

In the last couple of years I have certainly made huge progress in listening to my body ( bad times with perimenopause and severe cyclical moods) I know how to be kinder to myself, when to seek ' outside ' help and be more ' in tune' with my body and mind.
Once I got in a pretty stable position hrt wise, I was then diagnosed with fibromyalgia and am still under further investigations for auto immune arthritis. ( already have osteoarthritis )

So I am having to rethink a while new set of conditions and symptoms. I have accepting of what's is happening, I don't always like it but it's still me, albeit what again a different me.

I am still adjusting to what pain\symptom is due to what condition. I can be quite analytical when it comes to my health. I like to understand clearly what is going on so so can find the best form of help for myself, whether it be life style change, or sometimes medication.

And fibromyalgia often works completely opposite to that, in that as you rightly say, each day\hour is everchanging.

BUT even on a bad day I try to accept that day for what it was. I keep learning, I need to carry on listening to my body but maybe so need to interpret the answers in a different way.

Sorry, I never ever manage a short post!