Oh krista, your post made me want to cry. I came to forum today to blog, but I got side tracked and now I'm glad I did. Here I have for you a vrtual shoulder to lean on (let's be glad it's virtual as my real ones are old, tiered, worn out and not to pretty to look at!). We have all had our rotten down in the dump days (one of my worst is in "moan and complain" I used to pray God would come get me, and i held back some in it!).
The first thing is you have a right to feel depressed and sometimes it feels better just accepting it rather then fighting it. 17 years is a good life for a cat, you've clearly taken good care of him. $80 is a lot, have you checked with local animal rescues/organizations to c if they could help? Sometimes a vet may even cut you a break. Craig's list, I would scower the listings, when our old neighbors moved they left behind a GIANT bag of dog food, my lab has a sensitive stomach so to spare our noses (and probably out neighbors) I posted it free on there. I was shocked how many needed it. Then if no luck, post your own, you never know who might have a supply they don't need anymore or even willing to expand some funds to help.
I was looking at possably having to find my lab a home because I had reached a dark dark day when I realized I wasn't able to exersise him anymore, I couldn't even grip the ball let alone throw it. I cried for days. Looking at not even being able to afford to hire someone to come walk (run) him. OMG I tear up to think of it now. (I've had some break threws over the past few weeks and we've played ball)! But the stress that caused me was overwhelming and yes very depressed.
You are both brave and not alone in trying to hide your tears from a loved one. He loves you and I'm sure will love you just the same but since I do it sometimes too I can't lecture or give advice in this one.
Shoulder surgery...I'm at a loss, this one bites too. Keep doing what you can for now, maybe the healing process will kick in and make up for lost time. I've read a lot in here from other having shoulder and knee surgery that took along while to heal.
Money....I've FINEALLY come to accept it doesn't seem to matter how much we have it is always spoken for and or snatched up by a just out of warranty vehicle blowing the tranny, a trip to the ER or one of the kids in crisis. God has always come through, I could win the lottery tomorrow (if I bought a ticket) and by Monday the money would be gone and I'ld be scratching my head.
I know not all want to hear about God so if your one who doesn't, this is where you should stop reading my post. But he's brought me through what I shouldn't have made it through nor did I deserve his mercy. When life was sucked clean out of me and I no longer even sent prayers, I was FINEALLY still and quiet and that's when he stepped in. I couldn't get to that place with out him knocking me off my knees and disabling me completely b4 I let go. Yes, let go and let God. Or you can do like I did and keep trying to do it yourself.
Please feel free to vent anytime, I actually wished I had done more of it when I started out, I'm not sure why i kept it to myself in hind sight, even if someone here had judged me or added to my stress with a crapoy answer, I didn't have to accept them. Hmmm
So there you have it, long winded "your not alone" (your REALLY not) virtual shoulder from a real person that feels your real pain. I know it's not much. It's all I have to give you right now. That and a big, gentle virtual hug.
I'm open to any venting you want to do. I may not have answered, I may not even get it but I will wipe your tears the best I can and hold your hand virtually!