Old 05-01-2017, 07:34 PM #1 (permalink)
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Angry Feel ignored

Trying to talk to people about Fibromayalgia and feel like nobody cares.. you know when you can just hear how bored someone is when you're talking to them! I've had enough this is my life now I guess I'm gonna talk about it just feel like people could at least pretend to be interested in what I'm saying.. maybe I'm overreacting but annoying me a lot tonight.
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Old 05-01-2017, 11:56 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel ignored

Please dont wait for valadation from those who dont care to understand. Hang in there, you have found a soft place to fall with this group.
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Old 05-02-2017, 04:28 AM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel ignored

I believe most of us here have been at that exact same place. It totally sucks!

I was diagnosed 4 years ago, but ask my mom, she would not know what I have. But ask her what she and her friends suffer from, she will give you the list of 'old age' illnesses. (not that I want to diss those illnesses, but come on, almost all older people have diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol etc). It hurts a lot, so you kind of know to suck it up and keep on smiling because staying positive is so important with fibromyalgia.

And yes, this forum helps a lot!
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Old 05-02-2017, 10:33 AM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel ignored

Hi zolly,
my best advice to you is not to even try to talk to people about it at all. Really, no one wants to hear about it. It isn't that they don't care about you (or, at least, in the case of people who actually do care about you), it is just that the vast majority of people are really only wrapped up in their own world. Most people are pretty self-centered. I don't say that to be mean or insulting to people, I just think it is a fact. It is part of human nature. It takes a certain kind of person to step outside of themselves and really pay attention to the problems someone else is having. And those people are not all that common.

What I do is I don't talk about it at all. If I can't go somewhere or have to cancel I just say I am not feeling well. If they ask me more about it, I say "I have fibromyalgia." and I stop right there. 99% of people never ask me more about it, so I don't say more. If they do, I only give them as much info as they really want to hear. Otherwise you are just wasting your breath and possibly alienating people. If a person doesn't understand what it is like (and mostly no one does unless they have experience with it), they are only going to think you are complaining and no one likes that.

It is rough to have to keep it mostly to yourself. But that is the best course of action in my opinion. Your true friends will stick around and actually be interested. You may lose some "friends", but if you do they were not good friends to begin with.
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Old 05-02-2017, 01:57 PM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel ignored

Hi Zolly. I don't tend to speak to other people about it because mostly they're not interested or at best just don't understand. My mum always takes an interest and asks how I'm doing but no-one else really bothers. I'm glad I found this forum, it's been a godsend some days.
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Old 05-02-2017, 01:59 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel ignored

Couldn't have said it better. I learned early on to just say it's my back, or a migraine (which would be true), but anything beyond that is a waste of time in my opinion. People don't want to hear it, and it even bothers the people who do press for more information. "There has to be something you can do about it," is a normal response followed by fifteen minutes of suggested treatments and doctors that you've been through a dozen times.
It's really aggravating and you will learn to just cover it up or keep it to yourself, as crappy as that is.
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Old 05-02-2017, 11:39 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel ignored

Hi Zolly,

I'd like to thank you for bringing up this sensitive topic because it's definitely something I can relate to!
The replies are from caring people who totally understand and that makes this a safe place to talk.
Lately I have learned that there are 'friends' in my life that I must create a new category for....."Those who are not safe to talk to about illness".... Having begun my list , it has clarified for me the wasted energy I have put into these relationships over the years. Yes, it was fun while it lasted but as I come to terms with having fibro I now know we have no spare energy to waste! I agree with minimal explanations when excuses are required....it's less humiliating.
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Old 05-06-2017, 10:29 AM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Feel ignored

Hi Zolly,

I think that people that have experienced an illness,or are sick like us can relate. They will usually listen and be more compassionate,then others.Because they've been there,they feel the need to listen and give the person time to vent.
Because a lot of times,that's all we need.

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