I submit

[crazydoglady]

Hi there. Newbie here. I've never done a forum and I feel a bit confused how it works. I'll get it.
I've had fibro for years. The older I got the worse it got. I went on permanent disability 7 yrs ago. I'm not on SSDI yet. I'm on the hospitals I worked at. I believe my fibro began back in my 30's (55 now). Back when no one could tell me what was happening. Their opinion was I was hypochondriac and wanted attention. My family accused me of this as well. So my depression began along with so much more. At that point I never mentioned it to anyone and suffered in silence. In my 40's I worked for a inter med Dr who told me it wasn't a real condition. I suffered in silence, it's got to be in my head. Thankfully I was finally diagnosed. Skipping ahead because I'm rambling I apologize. I have only my bf, the others dropped one by one. I'm married but so lonely. So very very lonely. My family is sick of it and don't expect me at gatherings. I sit alone all day with my dogs as I watch everyone else living there lives. I've been robbed! I'm angry, sad and heartbroken.I sit here texting texting this in tears. How could this happen to me? Please forgive my rambling and basically writing a short story.

 

[Harpy]

Gday , crazy dog lady, I like you suffer in silence, never ever do I say out loud to my H when I struggle to get up because the pain is so bad. I actually had a pain specialist in a top hospital here basically told me I could basically learn turn my pain off. I asked him how when I have bone on bone in my spine? He said I could retrain my brain to change my nerve signalling the pain, that’s when I asked him so it’s all in my head And I have been suffering from excruciating imaginary pain from herniated cervical discs causing canal stenosis and neuropathy for nothing? So please don’t ever think your pain is in your head. Which is exactly what a private pain specialist told me. I sure does get lonely and yes friends wain off once you keep saying no I can’t make it.
you will find very informative people on here who are very knowledgeable and may help with some information To get you through, I am newish here too and am learning a lot. Be kind to yourself.

 

[sunkacola]

Hi crazydoglady,

I am an extreme log lover, too. There's nothing better than dogs!

You will find support here, because so many of us have experienced what y ou have and are even in much the same position.

It is NOT all in your head.
I know you know this, but it never hurts for one more person to say it to you, right?

I have written a post of suggestions for things you can start doing right now that have a good chance of making y our life better. Please read it and ask any questions you may have.
We are here for you and you are not alone.

My advice for managing fibromyalgia (especially for newcomers)

I am not a doctor or anything, just a person who has lived with fibromyalgia for several years now and has done a lot of research and trial and error experimentation. What follows is just basics. There are a lot of variations. You will find your own versions of everything I say, as this is not a...

www.fibromyalgiaforums.org

 

[cookiebaker]

you are most definitely not alone, and please dont apologize for thinking you wrote a long post.. yours is short compared to some of mine! LOL

I will also say it is not all in your head, and you are not a hypochondriac. and those that are "sick of it" are being a bit inconsiderate and selfish in my book. I sometimes wish people like that could spend just one day living with the pain & fatigue that we feel - just one day... bet they would change their tune right quick.

 

[Auriel]

What a awful reaction from your family (my family was also cold, abusive and highly narcissistic) I went no contact with the ones still alive as i feel they left me no choice and my mental/emotional health was more important than their toxicity (and I feel much better for it!) I understand the "imagining things" diagnosis as the 1st dr I saw at in hospital gave me that as a diagnosis too! (I never saw another dr after that till a while later) stick to the people that support you, that are there for you, that listen to you, that don't dismiss or play down what your going through, (I guarantee you'll feel better for it) You've got a kind of forum family with us now (where you can chat, vent, just post/message us anytime, we'll be here to support

 

[FarmerJoe]

CrazyDogLady:
Sometimes it feels so lonesome dealing with something no-one else can see or understand. I completely understand the love of dog's, as they are the only ones that stick by us and love us no matter what. My lab of 14 years has been the only one that "stuck it out" with me that past 6 years as I have had to deal with Fibro otherwise alone. Unfortunately, I had to watch her slip away over the past two weeks and she passed away this week. Now, again I am totally alone and very lonesome and in pain in more than one way. Please know, this is a lonesome disease, but we are here for each other. It really helps me to be able to share with others here on the occasions when I really need someone that truly understands. I wish there was something I could say that would help you, heck, I wish there was something I could say to help me too, but the reality is, there isn't. Just know, we can be here for each other. When no one else understands, or more accurately, when no one else even attempts to care or understand, we are here for each other. I too came from a hospital environment and was forced to retire earlier that planned due to Fibro and my dog got me through a lot of rough years. Always with a smile and a tail wag. Yep, she smiled.

 

[Auriel]

Sad now for you @FarmerJoe

 

[Harpy]

Oh farmerjoe so sorry about you friend, doggies love is just beautiful.
I lost my best mate , poodle x Sammy 3 years ago, died in my arms and almost made 18. We even kayaked together, he loved sitting up front lol, thought 8 hours later on that day I was in the room when I welcomed my new grandson. Was beautiful and sad day. So my daughter who gave me that special grandson lost her bub at 1 month old . I will never ever get over that day and will blame myself for his death till the day I die. She gave me my new dog ( 3 months later for my birthday) so I had a cuddle buddy. Life literally sucks.

 

[johnsalmon]

my dog knows when my firbro flares

 

[fibrofoggirl]

hi crazydoglady,
I understand where you're coming from as people don't understand the pain & tiredness of fibromyalgia. When I told mil, she said "oh everybody has aches & pains." Many like mil are unsympathetic. Hopefully, you will find comfort from others on this forum.....just knowing you are not alone.

 

[Redbird88J]

Who cares about family if they don't believe you? I would leave them for what they are, inconsiderate bastards. Start surrounding yourself with people who do not judge you negatively. There is no point in family if they treat you like ****. Figure out what you can and cannot do and explore new options and try to not dwell on how **** you feel, it does not help at all. Distract yourself with things you like.

 

[sunkacola]

Let's take care not to descend into use of profanity on the forum, please. I edited the previous post to remove that.

I think it is necessary to develop somewhat of a thick skin. It's unfortunate that many people are not willing to understand. That's really what it is, because if a person tries, they can understand what you are saying; it is not that complicated!

But I don't want to respond to judgement from other people by judging them, because I truly believe that two wrongs don't make a right.

Instead what I have done is remove my contact with the people who were not treating me well. If a person persists in saying unpleasant things, being angry with you, or putting you down, don't spend time with that person or at least limit your time with them as best you can.

And eventually you will learn, as I finally did, that when others judge you or fail to understand it is not about you! It is about them, and usually comes from fear on their part. That's no excuse, but when you realize that it really has nothing to do with you, it is easier to shrug it off.

And, as always, this forum is here to help and offer support to you all who are not getting it at home.

 

[cookiebaker]

And eventually you will learn, as I finally did, that when others judge you or fail to understand it is not about you! It is about them, and usually comes from fear on their part. That's no excuse, but when you realize that it really has nothing to do with you, it is easier to shrug it off.

Amen to that!

I dont have a lot of family (ie relatives) left, and what is left i really dont associate with much because - well... just because.
I dont need the drama involved with trying to deal with them.

As they say, you cant choose your relatives, but you can choose your circle of friends/acquaintances/people with whom you want to interact with regularly. Make those people ones that understand and support you, not that criticize, belittle or demean.

 

[Auriel]

I do exactly the same cookiebaker

 

[crazydoglady]

I'm so sorry. They become our children don't they? What an amazing gift. Lil snuggle buddies for sure. Take care of each other. Blessings.