Hi Claire, and welcome to the forum.
Gabapentin has been known to help some people with fibromyalgia pain, but often is not effective. I tried it years ago when I was first diagnosed, and it did nothing at all for me. Whether or not the gabapentin is actually
causing your pain is another matter, and I don't think that a doctor can know that with any accuracy; they can only surmise, which doesn't help you much. However, if it is not actually helping you, it's right to stop taking it.
I took it three times a day for several months, and then just stopped, and had no problem with that at all. I think that whether or not you experience any kind of withdrawal is a very individual thing. You may not have any problems with that at all, so I highly recommend that you not stress yourself about it, especially as heightened stress is guaranteed to increase your pain. If you stress out about going off the gabapentin, and your pain increases because you are stressed, you may misinterpret this as "withdrawal" and stress more, and it can be a vicious circle. Don't go there.
Also, don't go doom-scrolling about things. It won't help.
Definitely wean yourself off slowly and follow your doctor's directions. But don't anticipate bad things.
there are a LOT of things you can do besides wait through menopause, lose weight, etc.
If you are actually overweight to an unhealthy degree or to the point that it inhibits your being active, then yes it might help to lose weight. But we do not all have to be thin! And there's an attitude that if you are not thin you are not healthy, and this is not true. You can be hefty, plump, fluffy, whatever you want to call it, and carrying "extra" weight simply because that is how your body genetically wants to be, and you can still be healthy and strong and active. Only you know whether or not you really need to lose weight to be healthy, but I advise against buying into the "thinner is better" attitude that is so pervasive (and harmful) in the modern world.
The important thing is: Are you eating a healthy diet? Are you keeping as active on a day-to-day basis as you can without causing yourself more pain than is reasonable? Have you identified the things that trigger your pain so that you can avoid them? Are you maintaining, to the best of your ability, a positive attitude, and doing the things that will assist you with this? If not, then those things need work.
I wrote an advice post that you might want to read. See what you can find in there that you can work on. We are here to support you and to offer our advice on whatever might help you.
And by the way, you can rant all you want here. We even have a section of the forum for that, but you can rant in any section you want to. We won't mind.
I am not a doctor or anything, just a person who has lived with fibromyalgia for several years now and has done a lot of research and trial and error experimentation. What follows is just basics. There are a lot of variations. You will find your own versions of everything I say, as this is not a...
www.fibromyalgiaforums.org