Struggled for almost 4 years.

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New member
May 1, 2021
I am a 39 yr old female from Australia (well I am 40 next weekend) but before I go into how I am feeling right now,This I promise is the shortened version of the almost past 5 years

Back in August 2016 my beautiful mum passed away who was my world and being the only child, I had no one else around to help me. My father seemed rather ok with her passing. Made worse when I walked in on him the day of her death, she had been gone for only 16 hours and he was watching porn. I should have seen some red flags before what happened in the first half of 2017, However, I didn't! ( there were lots of other events in 2016, but I won't make this too long)

So moving into the beginning of 2017, he rang me up at the crack of dawn demanding a bracket fitting for the front light he was about to get installed. He claimed my husband and I had stolen, which was completely insane as my husband had brought the light for him. At the time had no idea where this sudden rage, name-calling, and accusing us had come from. Unfortunately, things only got worse, more accusing us of stealing, saying, and doing things happened within the next week. The police got involved as he was banging at my door all hours of the day and night and had to get an AVO put against him.

He was spreading lies about the two of us which was affecting my kids, he claimed my husband was telling people at my mum's funeral that now she was gone, he could now bump him off and take all of the family money for himself. He turned many family members against me with his lies and I struggled as I suffer from Bi-Polar disorder 1 and serve anxiety I had to fight with my mental health at the same time.

He moved back to England by mid-May 2017 but before leaving. He was baiting me to trespass, by having a skip in his driveway (remember we had an AVO on him, this worked both ways) he was dumping things, hanging them off the skip, knowing full well I would want them. Memories and stuff of my mums. He binned all my childhood memories, all my photos' of growing up, all the things my mum had cherished.

The most traumatic thing he did was the family professional photos that were taken when I was just 9. He put my ones out on the pathway against the letterbox. He waited at the front window for me to drive past with my two kids doing the school run. Knowing full well I had to go past to get my kids to school. Thankfully that morning, my husband took them. Hubby managed to get out of the car and grab them for me. Be-time he got back in the car, my now x-father was already out in his driveway. Clearly something he planned on having me there but got my husband instead.

Well not long after he left the country, I began to feel unwell, I was tired often, I had some aches and pains. But of course, I put this down to 1. My medications for my bipolar disorder and 2. The fact I was carrying extra weight. Over time things have got worse, the pains are worse, the brain fog and short-term memory problems which again, I blamed my meds. Then I started getting heart palpitations, which I blamed at the time on thyroid medication which can be a side effect.

Moving to 2020, I was off the Thyroid medication, I lost over 30kgs during 2 lockdowns and I had changed medications for my Bi-polar 3 times over the past 3 years. Still, I had all these symptoms which were getting worse and I was starting to add more to the list.

Moving forward to today, I am living in a nightmare, I have been an Archer for the past 5 years, I love to shoot my recurve bow, but today I barely shoot and when I do, I manage at best 6 arrows before my arms, shoulders, and even fingers are screaming. I have given up shooting my bow and just run the club and coach at the moment.
I am currently having everything done, had every blood test under the sun thrown at me twice in the past 6 months. Both perfect! Had a brain and neck MRI, came back perfect. About to have a sleep study next week, but I know I don't have sleep apnea. But we have to rule it out.
I waiting to see a Rheumatologist, but the wait is months and months away (sighs)

My symptoms are:
Chronic Frontal headaches​
Chronic fatigue and exhaustion​
Trouble concentrating​
Short term memory issues​
Have trouble recalling words when I am speaking​
Dizzyness, many times my head hurts and feels so heavy, I must lay down.​
Forgetfulness, have trouble retaining information, always seem to forget something.​
Struggle to stay asleep, wake up all the time, never wake to feel refreshed, always feel drained.​
Widespread body pains, feels flu-like at times, can be rather painful in one area, hands, fingers, wrists, upper and lower arms, elbows, shoulders, back (especially down the spine), neck, hips, thighs, knees, shins, feet and ankles, chest, jaw, and Achilles.​
After being still, asleep, or seated for a period of time, I struggle to get up and walk, I feel stiff, it can be so painful to move.​
Numbness/Pin and Needles of the hands and feet. They often feel cold. (Never used to have this, I always used to have hot hands)​
I am always hot/warm, can often be a sweaty feeling​
Skin Burning, this feels like sunburn or razor blades. shoulder blade and back right-hand side, tops of forearms and tops of thighs. (Shoulder blade at the moment of almost all day every day)​
Restless, body twitches, can have muscle spasms that last for ages, can also feel jittery, it is very unsettling.​
Heart Palpitations​
Stomach pains and bowel pains.​
Have "flares" that last for days where I am bound to my bed.

The pain, the fog, the headaches, the fatigue, and exhaustion is every single day now, where early on it wasn't.​
Also, note that I have had increased depressive episodes since my symptoms started, I have had 3 breakdowns. I had only ever had 1 small breakdown in my life until my symptoms started, I have now had 3 in 3 years since this started. I have read in a medical journal there is a strong link between BiPolar patients and Fibro after a study was conducted back in 2013.
Interesting to also note, I am currently on Cymbalta and Pristix for my bipolar and it does nothing for my pain.​
Thank you for reading, I am sorry it is so long, but I thought I should give the complete picture.​

Hello That One Arrow, and welcome to the forum that no one really wants to have to join!

I am sorry you have gone through so much.
Since you have not actually asked any questions, I am not going to offer any advice. Just say that I hope you start feeling better soon, and if you do have any questions we will do our best to answer them for you.
I didn't add a question but I suppose what I am really wanting to know does this all sound like and link to Fibro?
This is an interesting read. However, I could not answer your question.
I can tell you that it sounds like fibromyalgia, but that doesn't really help you. The diagnosis has to come from a medical professional and it sounds to me as if you are doing everything you can to pursue getting a diagnosis of whatever it is. I wish you the best of luck.

In the meantime, may I suggest you read the advice post pinned at the top of the General forum. Whether or not you have fibromyalgia, the advice there is likely to include something that will be helpful to you. From your symptoms, it seems to me that doing at least some of those things starting today will help you.

I most especially recommend you read and absorb what I wrote on stress. It seems to me that you have been through something stressful, and now it is time to let it go from your life completely because if you are holding onto any resentment or other strong feelings about it, it is only hurting you.
I don't mean you have to "forgive", as that is a whole other can of worms. But to stop thinking about it or letting it influence your life. You wrote a whole lot about it, and we don't mind reading it, but it really has nothing to do with what you can do to help yourself today. It was a stress trigger, but now it is in the past.
It's clear from the fact that you wrote 5 paragraphs about it here that it is still very much on your mind. Not saying I blame you for that, just advising you on what will help you now. My best advice is to work on letting that all go for your own sake. Holding onto it or thinking about it will only cause you more unnecessary stress, which is guaranteed to aggravate your symptoms.
I've had a look at articles on fibro & BD on pubmed from 2015, 2016, 2017 and 2020, which may be of interest.
2017: Alternative therapies, such as agomelatine, memantine and psychotherapic treatment should be considered. - instead of anti-depressants which can make the mania worse.
2016: Lots of overlap between the two. (However: I've seen 2 studies that say many fibromites have ADHD just because brain fog looks the same as adult ADHD, so I'd be wary here, just I know a lot about ADHD and less about BP).
2020: Interesting "assumption" at the beginning of the abstract: "About half of the patients with fibromyalgia (FM) had a lifetime major depression episode and one third had a panic disorder (PD)." (Their finding "support the hypothesis that comorbid Bipolar Disorder/Panic Disorder is related to the development of FM in a subgroup of patients.")
2015: "strongly suggest an association between BD and FM. Future studies ... are needed in order to more accurately determine the prevalence of BD in FM."

I'm doing a bit of psychotherapy again, cos I want to work on the mind level on what GABA seems to be doing on the physiological level. I'd definitely need that even more if I had BD...
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