Anxious about Fibro

[wedaweda]

Hello there,

Im new to that forum. I (male 37y/o) suffer from anxiety for the last three years.
My fears are always around my body (core fear loss of control / lifelong suffering) but _not_ regarding a life-threatening disease.
For the last 12 Months I'm obsessing (literally obsessing) about fibromyalgia. This is my worst fear to get it.
There is basically no medical test to rule it out.
Im so drained about this obsession already, I cannot stop to listen in my body. I developed a variety of symptoms including joint pain (all joints, no swelling or redness), sleep problems and fatigue/brainfog episodes, burning skin and light sensivity. 1-2 trigger points do hurt from time to time.
I feel nobody is able to help me. I'm in therapy and my therapist seems very clueless how to deal with my problem. They keep saying it is some form of hypochondria but I don't visits doctors to get re-assurance, as there is no test to rule out.
I now set up an appointment at a rheumatologist but the appointment is in 3 weeks.
I had episodes of anxiety in the past creating the most weird symptoms that all turned out to be anxiety. And then I think too much anxiety destroys the ZNS and it will result in Fibromyalgia.
I feel trapped and completely drained. I dont literally know what I should still do. My therapist wants me to prescribe SSRIs which im afraid to take because of potential side effects.
Can anyone share some light with me please? Any advise is also highly appreciated

 

[sunkacola]

Hi wedaweda, and welcome to the forum.

If your therapist is not helpful to you in dealing with your anxiety, which does seem very high, then I recommend you get a different therapist who can deal with this better. You are not stuck with the one you have if it is not helping you. Your using the word "clueless" tells me that you definitely need to be working with someone else!

Medication for anxiety can be very helpful and if you are as bad off with it as it sounds from your post, I would recommend you give it a try. There can be side effects, sure. But they may not be very significant or you may not have any at all. And the side effect of such high anxiety is very likely to be far more damaging to your body/mind health than the medication would be. Start with a very small dose and only work up slowly if it doesn't help. Also, there are many different medications so if the first one doesn't work well for hyou there are others to try. It's worth it, if you find something that helps. This is the voice of experience speaking.

Too much anxiety will not necessarily create fibromyalgia, but it is 100% guaranteed to be detrimental to your health in multiple ways. It's vital that you get it under control. You think no one can help you, but someone can. You just have to be determined and not give up until you find a therapist who clicks with you, understands, and is going to help you. Don't give up. Many of us here deal and have dealt with severe anxiety and depression, so people here understand . We are here to support you, so you are not alone.

 

[JayCS]

Hi there -

even though the anxiety seems to be a bigger problem, it does sound as if you have physical symptoms independent of your anxiety? A reality check might help - the test on our main site or the ACR 2016 criteria to reassure you that your symptoms are not enough at the moment. (You may want/need to do it with someone you trust (enough).) Joint pain and 1-2 trigger points alone probably wouldn't get you scoring high enough on the Widespread Pain Index (WPI). Most of us have many sore points all over. But - see below - you could still consider and treat it as such.

Suggesting SSRIs (and praps being clueless) sounds as if it's a psychiatrist? If so, I'd prefer to get anxiety sorted with a psychologist. I agree it can be good to change a therapist if you're not getting anywhere. But it may take a while, and might not be successful. Before that, I'd be interested in how they are working with you and how you are able to understand what they think your anxiety is caused by, and how you're able to follow the suggestions made to reduce anxiety. Also if you're doing anything for the anxiety of your own accord or together with others on anxiety forums, self-help groups, workbooks, websites etc. on this. SSRI may seem to be necessary to psychiatrists in extreme cases, but if you're not prepared to anyway there are so many alternatives.
One core element would be to radically accept your mental and physical condition and practice mindfulness, trying all the many ways of doing this.
Other things brilliant for mind (anxiety) and body (fibro symptoms) are for instance moving your sleeping time ahead to "10pm to 6am", your meals appropriately, and then getting as much sun as possible. But start slow/early and go slow with this summer sun. (To get to 6am you just get up earlier, bit by bit, however little you slept.)
You say you are light sensitive. I used to think I was, and I am a little, I quite often get nauseous from the combination of heat and sun. But I've got more used to it, the benefits outweigh it. Or what symptoms do you get from light?

Next, let's take your "worry" or "fear" seriously: If you have these symptoms, then why not consider it as fibromyalgia, "instead" of worrying about it, or additionally to that, and then doing things like following the advice on sunkacola's advice post here, there would be absolutely no harm in that, they are good life basics.

You are worrying about your own psychosomatic vicious circle and self-fulfilling prophecy that your anxiety about fibromyalgia may itself cause it, or already has. If you jump ahead and treat yourself as if you have it.

I wouldn't say your symptoms have to be psychosomatic, it might also be that your anxiety is "somatopsychic" or plain biological and might be treated biologically.

Looking at the symptoms singly, as I always do:
"joint pain (all joints, no swelling or redness)" would in the case of fibromyalgia (and not something rheumatoid/arthritic) be the tendons around your joints, if you press there and it hurts, it will be that. This can be treated as tendonitis with stretches (e.g. youtube). Whatever the cause.
"sleep problems" can be helped with a better circadian rhythm, see above, a variety of supps, and you can compensate for them with NSDR/yoga nidra. Whatever the cause.
"fatigue/brainfog episodes" may be a result of the rest, there's a variety of supps for both too, and also a load of lifestyle changes - see above, again. Whatever the cause.
"burning skin" could be from environmental and product triggers, something like histamine, that'd be more specific that I'd tackle after the rest.
"light sensitivity" as said above might well be desensitized, that would depend on when and how exactly it comes up. Just as a crazy idea if I'd known what I've experienced this year with getting up early, I think I'd've started getting up at dawn, esp. if I can't sleep anyway. So it's still a bit dark, and I could get used to more and more sunlight in the early morning. - One or two years ago I had my blackout blinds down in the mornings, often didn't get up till 9 and then kept the blinds down till 10 or even 11, and thought I needed that long to get a clear head and wake up. Only when I heard a sleep expert (Hugh Shelsick, UK) saying: Just get up did I try it. Partly the dull head has disappeared, praps from this looking towards the sun, plus I've now found other reasons for the dull head in the mornings, which I could now tackle.

Bottom line, anxiety is a form of useless, wasted energy that's turning in circles endlessly. But it's energy. Instead we can use this for real manageable aims which we can channel and focus on. Often in baby steps, but in my case often in a few giant leaps, like the circadian rhythm. My biggest most effective hack to get out of the anxiety spiral was concentrating on me being on my feet safe in the Here and Now.

These ideas may not fit, because I'm guessing a lot, don't know how your anxiety and body works, you can tell me though...

 

[wedaweda]

Thanks for the reply. I did not expect that quality of answers, I appreciate it.
Basically, nobody knows where my anxiety comes from. I think I was an anxious person my whole life but I really did not recognize it. On the first look, I have a great life. I have a small young and healthy family, I have a great job with a very good salary. It started to spiral all down for me when covid hit the world. I was never afraid about the disease but how gov reacted and locked us up.
From there I started to get symptoms and those symptoms came and go and with the symptoms my obsession started. Every symptom I got I obsessed about in an unhealthy way. I started to google for every symptom and in every google session I learned something new that then popped up later. Now I'm in a very dark place. I feel completely drained from the stress that this obsession created inside me. And every day I get new symptoms that are coming and going. One year ago I was so afraid to get a chronic illness or chronic pain (even though I did not have it). Since then I freak out about a headache that comes from time to time and is completely normal. My core fear seems to be that I lose control. So during my google sessions I learned about CFS and fibromyalgia and my symptoms manifest in one or the other. A couple of weeks it is fatigue, then I freak out about CFS until I realize I can still go hike a big mountain easily. Then the next day I get random aches and pains. Sometimes my joints, some time my shoulders (which can also come from muscle tension). Those problems seem to be better if I'm distracted, but Im not 100% sure.
I tryed all sort of relaxation methods but nothing seems to help. Basically my body can generate any symptom or condition Im afraid of. Sometimes it hits me out of the blue. I had days where I had no symptoms and thought "oh, look you have no symptoms. But what if you have this or that?", and it all starts again. It's like intrusive thoughts or OCD that kicks in.

 

[sunkacola]

Seriously, wedaweda, you need to get some help with this from an appropriate mental health professional, and possibly from medication as well. You will definitely make yourself sick or sicker if you just continue in this way. Get a new therapist, one who can prescribe medications, and who is well skilled in dealing with anxiety and obsessive thinking. Continuing in the way that you are is very unwise, as the only direction you are headed is down. There are may people who have learned to manage severe anxiety through medication and therapy, and you can too. but you will need to find the right person to help you. Don't delay in doing this. Do it now, while you still can.

 

[JayCS]

It's like intrusive thoughts or OCD that kicks in.

Ah, OK, I can see what you mean now, that all these symptoms seem caused by your anxiety, so I agree fully with @sunkacola, and it doesn't make any sense to tackle the symptoms directly, because your anxiety will always invent new ones, that's what you're saying yourself.
So in reality this has nothing to do with fibro, CFS etc. at all. And you know that.
What you're describing seems so severe that you will not get better if you don't take the SSRIs your therapist recommended. I can just insist on what sunkacola has already said.

 

[wedaweda]

Thank you, today I got prescribed with liquid lexapro. I will start it slowly. Is it normal for fibro that the symptoms come and go? E.g in the Morning you feel nothing and then random pain in different bodyparts? I constantly check my muscles and tenderloints or listen into my body. Gosh I need to see this rheumatologist and get a new therapist. This sucks.

 

[wedaweda]

Tbh the fear of getting cfs and fibro were there before the symptoms started. But now the symptoms are there (and they are even popping up when I’m not anxious). But I feel wired for the last years, I cannot remember when I was able to relax myself. I also heard from some ppl developed fibro as a result of chronic anxiety. So not sure, chicken egg or if my anxiety just creates those symptoms

 

[JayCS]

I also heard from some ppl developed fibro as a result of chronic anxiety.
So not sure, chicken egg or if my anxiety just creates those symptoms

Hehe, now you're starting to worry about worrying - loop goes to spiral.
If you want to, work on your symptoms, aswell, like I said.
But even in the case of anxiety really causing fibro, the anxiety needs to be treated first.
However your symptoms do not justify an actual fibro diagnosis - you do not have fibro.

 

[sunkacola]

I agree with Jay, above. You do not have fibromyalgia, or any of the other things that you are so afraid of. You have a serious anxiety disorder. You are doing a grave and very harmful disservice to yourself by constantly checking your body and thinking that you have something wrong with you. Stop. Use the greatest degree of self-control that you have ever used in your entire life to stop doing this. Do it as if your life depends on it, because it does.
Forget the chicken and egg thing. Forget everything except focusing on the fact that you need to get your severe anxiety under control. Once you do that, the physical symptoms will vanish. I would bet money on that.

The only thing you have is an anxiety disorder.

Focus on that to the exclusion of everything else you are thinking about. Work on that. Join an anxiety support group with a good medical professional as a facilitator. Find a new therapist today. Take heart in the fact that there is only one thing wrong here, ----anxiety---and it's curable.

 

[JayCS]

and it's curable.