Hi from Norway

[fimi]

I've just had a listen tormodg, and they are very beautiful recordings. I especially liked 'November' which gave me goose pimples!!

It's nice when you have the energy to do the things you love, which can make these times all the more precious. And your recordings really show you love your music!

Thank you for sharing tormodg!

 

[JayCS]

This is far from professional recordings, everything is made at home. But it's what I do when I have the energy to...

Brilliant stuff! . I'm "following" you... - Same here..'cept mine are too weird - be warned...

 

[Badger]

Hi Tormodg, I've never used SoundCloud but will certainly check out your page, it will be very interesting. It took me over ten years to begin listening to records again after having to stop playing music. It was a big mistake giving in to depression, even at our lowest music makes life worth living. Although you have a battle on your hands I'm glad at least you have received your award and wish you the best.

 

[tormodg]

Long time no see! I have been through a veritable hell this summer/fall.

First I got a diagnosis of Severe ME. Then I got covid-19. Then my wife left me after 23 years of marriage. All withing a single month.

So since August I have tried my best to get up and about. And last week I spent two days in an ME specialist center at the University Hospital in Oslo. And they ended up retracting the ME diagnosis and confirming my fibromyalgia (severe grade) diagnosis.

So while it’s not exactly good news, I think fibro is a more «hopeful» diagnosis and it should be possible for me to live a more normal life eventually.

My goal right now is to get back to work in January, working half time. I have spent a couple of short days at work just to acclimatize and practise getting out of my house .

I am travelling from Oslo to Cleveland today to visit a good friend for the next week. Sadly my lower back is really painful so it’s a bit of a chore to travel. But it will be worth it!

 

[Auriel]

Oh my God tormodg. I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. your post shows through what a strong will you have to get through things, I hope things will work out on the more positive end for you, (with a will like that I can't see it not)

 

[Badger]

Hi tormodg, I'm sorry to hear about what you have been through, it sounds brutal, you must be wiped out. I'll be hoping you can manage work in January. In the meantime it will be great just having the chance to spend time with your friend, I'll be raising a glass for you, Atb

 

[Nan]

So sad for you but glad your getting yourself out.

 

[tormodg]

Brief update. I have been back at work 50% since January 2. and in one sense it has been good for me. I have really missed my colleagues and my social life during years of debilitating illness.

But I notice that I struggle with finding my own limits. I had a couple of busy weeks, then some quiet weeks, and then suddenly I got a "flu-like" feeling in my body and no energy to do anything except show up at work. It has been like that for 5-6 days now. I assume it is fatigue and fibromyalgia "acting up" due to stress. Nothing I do seems to help, painkillers don't help, I can't exercise, I don't want to lie down too much because I fear that I will start behaving like I am ill again. Does that even make sense?

I am also in the process of selling my house and finding a new place to live (after last year's breakup), so there is additional stress.

To add on to this I have also tried my luck in the dating market for a few months and so far it has been mostly stressful and confusing.

It all makes me fear that I will get too ill to work again, and that simply cannot happen. So I need to cope with chronic illness. It is really difficult at times.

 

[cookiebaker]

I am also in the process of selling my house and finding a new place to live (after last year's breakup), so there is additional stress.

To add on to this I have also tried my luck in the dating market for a few months and so far it has been mostly stressful and confusing

you need to cut back on the stressors as much as possible!

perhaps step back from the dating scene for a bit to reduce that stress - at least until you get settled in a new place and that stress gets removed. Basically, you are trying to do too much at once, and your body is telling you to cut back, ASAP.

Stress is a major contributing factor to us fibromytes not feeling well. Reducing stress as much as is possible will go a long way toward helping you feel better.

 

[tormodg]

Thank you @cookiebaker. You are absolutely right. I guess I need to create daily routines that do not require a lot of activity, yet help me feel that something happens in my life.

I think the fear of illness plus a sometimes very strong sense of loneliness after 23 years of marriage is forcing my hand too much into looking for a relationship.

 

[MNP]

Hi tormodg!
I just finished reading your whole thread and I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your persistence in dealing with your fibro and all the challenges you have faced!

I completely understand your fear of the future with having a chronic illness.
I am learning how much my own fear contributes to my flares!

I just want you to know that I am rooting for you! One of the things I do when I get fearful is to read many of the positive posts on this forum…there are so many!!!

Wishing you the best!

 

[tormodg]

I just want you to know that I am rooting for you! One of the things I do when I get fearful is to read many of the positive posts on this forum…there are so many!!!

Wishing you the best!

Thank you!

I have not been very active here so far, but I agree. There is a lot of support to be found here.

I think I try to tell myself that I am in full health again. But if I want to be healthy, I need to learn how to live with fibro, mood swings, depression and fear. Thankfully I have good friends and I reach out to them when I need help. And of course when I don't!

 

[MNP]

I am sooooo glad you have good friends to support you!
I hope you become more active on this forum(if it helps you). I have really loved reading your posts! Thus forum has become part of my lifeline for managing my fibro and fear/anxiety!

 

[Auriel]

Well done tormodg, your trying your best with everything, and as you've said , fibro is really challenging when your trying to do what you want to do when you want to do it, also with the dating thing (if it's causing stress and confusion for you) maybe have a break from it for a bit (confusion won't help with brain fog + stress could start a flaire up ) just give yourself some time you've been through a lot!
Kind regards, as always
Auri

 

[tormodg]

Thank you, Auriel. I just talked to a good friend on the phone and he urged to me to relax and give dating a rest.

I'll try to find some peace and focus on the important things right now (ie, rest).