Lost but fighting

[Gothicbean]

I had the dreaded doctor appointment today to confirm my diagnosis and while we are waiting on blood work to be sure everything is ruled out my doctor is about certain it is fibromyalgia. At 22 suddenly having such bad pain that you cannot move....its....it's just been alot. My hands are weakened and shake a lot which does make a lot of my loved activities harder, as well as making daily life harder. The doctor gave me something for the pain and for the first time in weeks I sat here sobbing because I finally had some relief, still achey and have some symptoms but I can move and right now that feels like a huge success. I have dreams of becoming a naturalist and using my knowledge of plants to help and teach others, besides my family, but as you may be able to guess this monster in front of me makes it a lot harder. I feel guilty like "Oh some people have it way worse" or "Your not fighting hard enough" but then I see that yes my pain is valid and so is my issues, I'm a tough person and I've always been too stubborn to quit which is more than helpful right now. I'm hoping I wrote this in a clear manner I'm just writing as it comes to me and trying to organize it the best I can.

 

[sunkacola]

Greetings, and welcome to the forum! That guilty feeling about people having it worse.....let it go. Yes, people have it worse than we do....a lot worse....and we can use that knowledge to remind ourselves to be grateful for what we do have. That can help. Feeling guilty, that never helps. So focus on being glad for what you have and enjoying every moment that you can genuinely enjoy. Operative word here is "genuinely" - don't try to force yourself to be falsely cheerful. Just grab those good moments when they come and love them, and the rest of the time practice radical acceptance of what is in this moment.

You can still become a naturalist. You can learn to manage your fibromyalgia and have a life. We are here to help, to cheer you on, to offer advice and to support you.

Here's a place to start:

My advice for managing fibromyalgia (especially for newcomers)

I am not a doctor or anything, just a person who has lived with fibromyalgia for several years now and has done a lot of research and trial and error experimentation. What follows is just basics. There are a lot of variations. You will find your own versions of everything I say, as this is not a...

www.fibromyalgiaforums.org

One thing to think about is maybe this is not something to fight.

This is your body, and just as you are doing the best that you can that includes your body doing the best it can. It's all one thing - mind and body are not separate - and if you think of it as a fight you will be fighting yourself. That only makes things worse. I find that it is healthier to think of this as something you need to take care of. You can learn what works for you and how to adapt to this. We will help if we can.

 

[Gothicbean]

Thank you I never thought of it as anything more than a beast I had to defeat, that brings a whole new light to it. I'll read that article in a moment as well I just wanted to go ahead and reply. I agree on the feeling guilty aspect and think that the seeing those genuinely good moments is a great thing to do, we often focus on the negative it's just how we're wired.

 

[jasper_b]

sunkacola is right, though I understand feeling overwhelmed and dismayed. it's a hard and scary thing to deal with. but you're still you. your needs might be a little different, but you can still work towards your dreams. i think being a naturalist isn't necessarily incompatible with having fibromyalgia. i think you can hold on to that hope
and i think you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else. you don't have it any easier just because others might have it worse

 

[Gothicbean]

sunkacola is right, though I understand feeling overwhelmed and dismayed. it's a hard and scary thing to deal with. but you're still you. your needs might be a little different, but you can still work towards your dreams. i think being a naturalist isn't necessarily incompatible with having fibromyalgia. i think you can hold on to that hope
and i think you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else. you don't have it any easier just because others might have it worse

I appreciate that thank you

 

[BlueBells]

Hello @Gothicbean

I am so pleased for you that you have found these forums. I'm only new, but already, the friendly support makes an incredible difference.

I was only diagnosed 2020, but I realise this is what has plagued me (I'm not that 'bad') all my life, well, since about 12, anyway.

Not understanding what is going on, with even doctors continually saying all the things it isn't, makes one feel like it's imagination. Now, after diagnosis, I'm fighting the "others have it worse" issue.

I'm learning it is "the same and different" for everyone. There was a typo, someone spelt diagnosed, and it came out Dragonised ! I love that. We are Dragonised by the little Fibro Gremlins!

I wish you all the best, and I hope you keep coming back and get to know the great people on here.