'Tis the season for... SAD syndrome

[Jemima]

Thank you so much, Sunkacola. That means a great deal to me! It is a consolation indeed, and a gift to share our lives with animals

 

[Auriel]

Sorry Jemima

 

[Jeans89]

Hi all,

I'm back after a few days of not engaging much - sorry if I didn't reply to anyone who directed a post at me. My beloved and beautiful old dog suddenly took a downward turn recently, with terrible pain, and I had to have him put down yesterday. He was a wonderful gentle-giant guardian who kept me company living alone and remote at various points over the years, so I feel quite bereft. Very sad to say goodbye, but some peace in knowing it was the kindest choice.

I feel better mentally today, but wow, my body is screaming at me So, maximum self-care, and the pain will ease up soon enough. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and experiences in this thread. I think you're all brave, strong, and incredible!

I’m so sorry about the loss of your dog. Dogs are just the most wonderful companions. It’s hard to let them go. Hugs n comfort.

 

[Jemima]

Sorry Jemima

I’m so sorry about the loss of your dog. Dogs are just the most wonderful companions. It’s hard to let them go. Hugs n comfort.

Thank you both

 

[Auriel]

That’s ok jem’s, may be just a forum but we do care, i was thinking maybe my late little girl bichon frise may be running round together somewhere in doggie heaven with yours and maybe with the other forum members past fur babies too! (it’s just a nice thought)

 

[Rainbow]

So sorry Jemima,

I am standing in your shoes having lost mine on the first day of the first lock down aged 23, just when I needed him most
& am still prone to tears when he comes to mind, especially as I walk the same paths as I did every day with him.

It's heart-breaking.

Comfort yourself that you gave him the best life you were capable of giving him.

Grief is the price we pay for love but a human life is arid without love, however painful the parting.

Big hug from me X

 

[Jemima]

So sorry Jemima,

I am standing in your shoes having lost mine on the first day of the first lock down aged 23, just when I needed him most
& am still prone to tears when he comes to mind, especially as I walk the same paths as I did every day with him.

It's heart-breaking.

Comfort yourself that you gave him the best life you were capable of giving him.

Grief is the price we pay for love but a human life is arid without love, however painful the parting.

Big hug from me X

Thank you, Rainbow

 

[Auriel]

These are for you @Rainbow

 

[Auriel]

I like the sound of blueberry lavender @Momzilla , I used to drink blueberry tea ( I like blueberries) it’s a nice change from green (which has no flavour) I’m actually making blueberry and spinach smoothies right now

 

[Momzilla]

Jemima,
You always seem to find the right words of comfort for everyone on here. Unfortunately this is probably not a skill I master. So apologies in advance.
I love dogs maybe more than people. (See its already starting weird)
I'm sorry for your loss. I couldn't believe when I saw your post just now, as I literally cried today about losing one of my manimals this year. I won't get into details because that won't be of any comfort to you. The timing is probably worse as we're going into SAD season. I had a really cool necklace made on Amazon for cheap. You upload a photo and they etched my little Turkeys face on the necklace and it looks just like him! I recommend that. I wear it almost every day!

Also I saw a new doctor at my family practice. I really liked her. She said she believes I definitely have an autoimmune disease. Does that mean I have to leave this forum? Is there a dump forum out there for people that don't belong in a specific one?
She did a tone of blood work. Only thing back so far is TSH which is still in normal range. She had me do ultrasound of some of my lumps.
The ultrasound doctor cant see my lumps even though he can feel them. So now I have ghost lumps! No surprise there. Just another dead end.
She said she's worried about me brain fog and wants me to see neurologist. First neurologist I called isn't accepting new patients. Thats where I left off. Under extreme stress. My change of season Symptoms are worse this fall then ever before. I really think i have some type of allergen in the fall that then gets worse because of extreme dry skin etc. I want to have basic allergy testing done. I've pinpointed it starts every fall when I start raking.
I had a "crash today" that I feel I can never articulate to doctors. I pretty much always have fatigue but certainly varying degrees from day to day. But sometimes I get this crash that is basically debilitating. I can barely talk, or move. I get dizzy, my heart stars racing. I was at my daughters pediatrician. Then anxiety kicks in like how will I get through this. How will I drive us home. The pediatrician might think I'm drunk because my words slur and I cant focus my eyes.
Excited about the new doctor though!

 

[sunkacola]

Momzilla,
Not only are you going to continue to be welcome here in any case, if you want to be here, but also it is to be noted that more and more researchers are thinking that FMS may be an autoimmune disorder. So, no worries, you are one of us.

I am glad you are having the testing done. Keep in touch and let us know how it is going. I am sending you good wishes. Your strength and optimism shines through your words and those things can carry you a long way.

 

[Auriel]

@Momzilla your underestimating your level of empathic ability, I found the idea of the necklace thing really sweet and there’s actually a section when you join of other choices rather than fibro or cfs, like undiagnosed. I for one hope you stay, I find you funny, interesting and pretty cool so I hope you do

 

[PhillyFibro]

I tried huge banks of natural lighting lamps at one time but it didn't really help. I lived where the sun almost never shone, it seemed, and there was so much rain that nothing ever dried out. I hated it. My solution was to move to a place where the sun shines about 330 days of the year!

I completely sympathize with your experiencing SAD. It's awful. Honestly, I thought by January every year I was almost going to slit my wrists. Moving to a sunny place took care of it all and I have felt so much better during the winter...in fact. I like winter a lot now. Maybe you cannot move....but if you could, I would recommend it.

If it is not the lack of light that is affecting you, then I think getting out in the outdoors is a good idea, for as much time as you can manage. If christmas triggers off something, then I would suggest you make the season as stress-free as possible. Just for one year (just to try it out), don't travel to see family or friends. Stay home and have a very light, very simple christmas. No decorating, (unless it brings you joy to do it) no big fancy meal, (ditto) ... just whatever you want to do on that day with your partner. The lowest stress possible. No big commitments to parties or to any other thing. Explain to everyone that it's just for this year, because you need to try it out.

If it helps, you can set up a new thing for following years that keeps the outside and inside stress as low as possible in various ways.
I don't do christmas myself, as it is not my religion, but I see it causing huge levels of stress for everyone around me who does celebrate it.

 

[Jemima]

Jemima,
You always seem to find the right words of comfort for everyone on here. Unfortunately this is probably not a skill I master. So apologies in advance.
I love dogs maybe more than people. (See its already starting weird)
I'm sorry for your loss. I couldn't believe when I saw your post just now, as I literally cried today about losing one of my manimals this year. I won't get into details because that won't be of any comfort to you. The timing is probably worse as we're going into SAD season. I had a really cool necklace made on Amazon for cheap. You upload a photo and they etched my little Turkeys face on the necklace and it looks just like him! I recommend that. I wear it almost every day!

Also I saw a new doctor at my family practice. I really liked her. She said she believes I definitely have an autoimmune disease. Does that mean I have to leave this forum? Is there a dump forum out there for people that don't belong in a specific one?
She did a tone of blood work. Only thing back so far is TSH which is still in normal range. She had me do ultrasound of some of my lumps.
The ultrasound doctor cant see my lumps even though he can feel them. So now I have ghost lumps! No surprise there. Just another dead end.
She said she's worried about me brain fog and wants me to see neurologist. First neurologist I called isn't accepting new patients. Thats where I left off. Under extreme stress. My change of season Symptoms are worse this fall then ever before. I really think i have some type of allergen in the fall that then gets worse because of extreme dry skin etc. I want to have basic allergy testing done. I've pinpointed it starts every fall when I start raking.
I had a "crash today" that I feel I can never articulate to doctors. I pretty much always have fatigue but certainly varying degrees from day to day. But sometimes I get this crash that is basically debilitating. I can barely talk, or move. I get dizzy, my heart stars racing. I was at my daughters pediatrician. Then anxiety kicks in like how will I get through this. How will I drive us home. The pediatrician might think I'm drunk because my words slur and I cant focus my eyes.
Excited about the new doctor though!

I think your mastery is just perfect! Thank you for the kind words.

Sunkacola's absolutely right that the latest studies suggest fibromyalgia is autoimmune. It's also a condition that is pesky to pinpoint, so we're all dealing with question marks to some extent - not to mention plenty of oh-so-charming co-conditions along for the ride! Do stick around and share your journey with us if you want to. Even if your diagnosis goes in a different direction, perhaps you can teach us all something that will help us help someone else in the future, or perhaps something that one of us is doing will be a real game changer for you. Or, crucially, for sure we can all benefit from being there for each other through chronic illness, in whatever form it might take. I think that's what really matters here - that we understand each other, and can express ourselves freely, knowing that this is a crowd that won't dismiss us. Glad you're here!

 

[Momzilla]

Thanks everyone! I imagine there's a lot of people here that have multiple diagnosis. Suppose it depends on the day of the week. I have fibromyalgia Mondays, Tuesdays, weekends, full moons, when I eat raspberries, and laundry day.
(Not making fun of fibromyalgia, just the fact that it depends which doctor you see)
Fibromyalgia was my diagnosis several years ago.