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New member
Aug 29, 2014
So besides fibro, my sis has a gambling addiction. I don't f'n get it. She complains about pain all day and being exhausted blah blah blah m but when it comes to gambling all night, she's perfectly fine. She gambles the money that she doesn't have. She doesn't share with mortgage or bills at all. She tends to hoard things so our house is a disaster. We have clutter on every corner.

I have a boyfriend and we want to get married someday, but first, I'd like to fix up my house so I can sell and have some money for a down payment. Since my sister loves to "collect" things and not clean up after herself, things are all on hold and we are both going at her own pace. I get in trouble every time I tell her what my future plans are because she feels pressured. Wtf. Life is too short. I'm not getting any younger to keep holding off starting my own family.

So ****in frustrating. Really. Just shoot me. FML.
Sounds very annoying and irresponsible, and this is something that needs to be worked on for sure, but remember however frustrating her behavior is for you, what she deals with internally 24/7 is one hundred fold. The addiction is a response to the constant pain and discomfort. Whether it's a drug, sex, or gambling, the high is a blessed release from the grip of her pain; however fleeting/damaging the behavior may be. I would sit down, the two of you and discuss it. Try group therapy. Every person is unique and every addiction as well. There has to be a solution that the two of you can find. Keep in mind, menial tasks and routines can be nightmares for people with chronic pain/fatigue. At the same time you need to protect yourself and your future goals and interests. Good luck!
I agree with Dom333. Fibromyalgia affects the whole body, including the mind. Gambling releases endorphins which probably reduces her pain. She is most likely addicted to the relief. It is believed by some that lack of dopamine contributes to a lot of fibromyalgia sufferes. If you want to help her maybe research what causes people to become addicted to gambling and help her address her addiction. Gambling is giving her some relief from the blah, blah, blah.
Hoarding is another mental reward for her and again getting to the root of the cause is the only way to figure out how to stop it.

I suggest helping her because ultimately it helps you and she is your sister, a bond that runs deeper then the moment.
I guarantee she doesn't like her addictions, but it's called addiction for a reason. I think understanding her problems will help you better deal/help her.

As for you, you deserve your life. Your not being selfish for asking to follow your dreams and your sister shouldn't stand in the way of your happiness.

Perhaps, you can come to a compromise with the "mess" in the house. Rent a storage unit so she's not "loosing" her things just decluttering to sell the house. Once out of sight she may slowly realize she doesn't need the things and enjoy living in less chaos.

I think Dom hit it on the head with suggestion for some counseling to help navigate.

Take care of yourself first.
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