little_e88
New member
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2014
- Messages
- 4
- Diagnosis
- 03/2009
- Country
- US
- State
- WA
I am struggling lately. After spending 5 months on disability leave due to a failed hand surgery I went back to work at the end of September. I was very happy, making good money and finally felt like I had a purpose. The job was very stressful and I wasnt happy but I did my best because I wanted my Fiance and I to be able to move out of my parents house by my birthday (November 20). Well thanks to my "lovely" fibro I ended with the dreaded severe fatigue to the point of falling asleep at my desk, falling asleep while driving and sleeping 14 hours. My doctor put my back on disability leave and my work has posted my job to find someone else.
I feel useless. My fiance says he understands, and I know he does to a point, but I feel like he is pissed that I am once again not working and he is the only one making money. Today I slept until 5pm and when he was finally able to get me to wake up he was so mad at me for sleeping that late that he gave me the silent treatment up until 20 minutes ago (930 pm). He has never done that before. I love him and I know he loves me but I am so scared he is going to leave me because of all of my medical conditions. (Fibro, chronic back pain, bipolar) I dont think he would but it sits in my mind. This may have to do with the fact that I was adopted because my biological dad went to prison when I was 2 weeks old for 5 years and my biological mom just up and left when I was 2 to go do heroin again. I am convinced that everyone who says they love me will leave. Thankfully I was raised by my grandparents and have a wonderful life.
Sorry for it being so long. I just feel like you all can understand this better than anyone else and I needed to vent to someone who gets it. I hope you all have good days tomorrow and not bad ones.
I feel useless. My fiance says he understands, and I know he does to a point, but I feel like he is pissed that I am once again not working and he is the only one making money. Today I slept until 5pm and when he was finally able to get me to wake up he was so mad at me for sleeping that late that he gave me the silent treatment up until 20 minutes ago (930 pm). He has never done that before. I love him and I know he loves me but I am so scared he is going to leave me because of all of my medical conditions. (Fibro, chronic back pain, bipolar) I dont think he would but it sits in my mind. This may have to do with the fact that I was adopted because my biological dad went to prison when I was 2 weeks old for 5 years and my biological mom just up and left when I was 2 to go do heroin again. I am convinced that everyone who says they love me will leave. Thankfully I was raised by my grandparents and have a wonderful life.
Sorry for it being so long. I just feel like you all can understand this better than anyone else and I needed to vent to someone who gets it. I hope you all have good days tomorrow and not bad ones.