- Jan 2, 2016
- DX FIBRO
Today I have brought myself to ask me the biggest question I have been asking myself since I have been diagnosed with FM. How at 19 years old Almost 20 explain to my friends and family besides my mother who knows because we are so close what I go through on a daily basis. Between the pain and depression iam seemingly losing all my close relationships or at least in my head iam. I no longer want to do anything, wether it be go to class, go out on the weekends or even just go out to eat. Iam trapped in my own head and body with pain that grows every day and depression that no matter what positive thinking or doing things that I enjoy drags me back into this dark hole. I want to explain to my family and friends that it's not me that's not trying to keep in touch or spend time with them but someone who is trapped and taking my normal self over. The thing is I don't know how my friends will take it, I sometimes wish I had something that sounded cooler or was easier to explain so they would understand but to say I have depression and this pain that never goes away and when I say never besides for maybe an hour a day total seems impossible for me. It's not that they won't care but they're young and stupid and still kids and while iam the same age it seems I've had to grow up a lot quicker then anyone that I know. I feel like I'm losing my life before I ever really got to live it and I worry that feeling so old this young, what's gonna happen when I actually turn that old?