done
New member
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2015
- Messages
- 2
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 05/2008
- Country
- US
- State
- tx
Hi all,
I'm new here. I've tried to handle this fibro alone. Ha. I raised four children. I was a wonderful mom. Room mother for all of them, girl scout leader, coach for numerous sports etc..I always had their backs no matter what. As most moms do I sacraficed a lot for them. Divorced in 2005 and when he disappeared from their lives I took up the slack. When they becam teenagers they were beyond terrible. My son got on Meth and dropped out of school, my daughters disrespected me, drank and skipped school, I can't count the number of times I got called by the police to pick them up. I loved and supported them all through this... alone. My siblings and mother were not in the same city and no help in any way. I did the absolute best I could. They all finally grew up into what I thought were pretty good people. Independent, happy, self sufficient. When my mother became too ill to take care of herself I dropped my life and moved to her city to take care of her, this despite the fact that I have two brothers in that city. They just weren't taking care of her..she was paying someone to mow her lawn for gods sake. Fast forward two years and now I am in full blown fibro. Diagnosed by a rheumatologist. On medication but some days just unable to function. Lost my job. Lived on unemployment until that ended, denied for disability. Mom insisted I just move in with her. Seemed logical. She has a large three bedroom house. So I did. Five months ago. I cleaned. Cooked. Shopped with or for her. Took her to all of her numerous doctor appointments. Did all of the tasks she asked me too. Everything. Yes, she paid my car, my phone and my storage. Total about $450 a month. She told me on numerous occasions she could afford it. I did without a lot. I came to visit my kids in a city a few hours away because my daughter is newly pregnant. I arranged all moms care for when I was gone. The day before I'm to come home I get a text from my sister saying mom can no longer afford to pay my bills and I need to get my stuff and move out. No prior warning, nothing. I was shocked and devistated to say the least. So I spoke to my youngest (23) daughter and we made a quick plan that I would get a waitress job, save some money and her and I would get a place together within a month. She's living with a bum and she wants out anyway. My son has an extra bedroom where I stay when I visit (which I have done so on many occassions simply to babysit their two kids for something they had to do, and every time I'm here I'm always happy to watch the kids, I love my grandbabies more than anything so when they want to go out or play bingo or simply go to the grocery store I am always happy to babysit) so I told him the situation and asked if I could stay for 3-4 weeks. He said no. He just couldn't afford to feed me and didn't want the stress on his family. Now realize I don't want any of them to pay for any of my bills, I will deal with that. I was shocked and so hurt by this. Does he not remember the stress I had with him? His meth use? Stealing from me..lieing to me...dealing with cops and meth heads every day? I never hesitated to help him. Finally helping him to overcome. So I asked my pregnant daughter if I could sleep on her couch for a few weeks, she initially said yes, her fiance would fix the futon so I could sleep on it. So I drove to my moms, got my stuff, slept in my car so as not to ask anyone for money for hotel. Drove back to be greeted by my children basically telling me what a loser and burden I am and I can't stay with my daughter because she can't afford to feed me. And that I was a 48 year old child who did nothing but sleep. But, out of pity I could stay with my son with a long list of conditions and boundarys. To summarize I'm not allowed to sleep past 7:30am and not at all during the day. If I feel bad I'm to take a walk or play a game, because everyone feels bad sometimes. I just need to push through it they said. Everyone has bad days they said. I was so hurt. So angry. I left and slept in my car again. The next day I have succombed and am staying with my son and these ridiculous terms. I left today and took a nap in my car at the park after job searching. I just cannot believe this. After everything I've done for all of them. To simply abandon me at my lowest point. I wanted to end it all but I'm afraid I'll mess that up too and end up living and worse off. Has anyone else had similar experience? I just don't know what to think. I plan to get a job and go out on my own and forget them.
I'm new here. I've tried to handle this fibro alone. Ha. I raised four children. I was a wonderful mom. Room mother for all of them, girl scout leader, coach for numerous sports etc..I always had their backs no matter what. As most moms do I sacraficed a lot for them. Divorced in 2005 and when he disappeared from their lives I took up the slack. When they becam teenagers they were beyond terrible. My son got on Meth and dropped out of school, my daughters disrespected me, drank and skipped school, I can't count the number of times I got called by the police to pick them up. I loved and supported them all through this... alone. My siblings and mother were not in the same city and no help in any way. I did the absolute best I could. They all finally grew up into what I thought were pretty good people. Independent, happy, self sufficient. When my mother became too ill to take care of herself I dropped my life and moved to her city to take care of her, this despite the fact that I have two brothers in that city. They just weren't taking care of her..she was paying someone to mow her lawn for gods sake. Fast forward two years and now I am in full blown fibro. Diagnosed by a rheumatologist. On medication but some days just unable to function. Lost my job. Lived on unemployment until that ended, denied for disability. Mom insisted I just move in with her. Seemed logical. She has a large three bedroom house. So I did. Five months ago. I cleaned. Cooked. Shopped with or for her. Took her to all of her numerous doctor appointments. Did all of the tasks she asked me too. Everything. Yes, she paid my car, my phone and my storage. Total about $450 a month. She told me on numerous occasions she could afford it. I did without a lot. I came to visit my kids in a city a few hours away because my daughter is newly pregnant. I arranged all moms care for when I was gone. The day before I'm to come home I get a text from my sister saying mom can no longer afford to pay my bills and I need to get my stuff and move out. No prior warning, nothing. I was shocked and devistated to say the least. So I spoke to my youngest (23) daughter and we made a quick plan that I would get a waitress job, save some money and her and I would get a place together within a month. She's living with a bum and she wants out anyway. My son has an extra bedroom where I stay when I visit (which I have done so on many occassions simply to babysit their two kids for something they had to do, and every time I'm here I'm always happy to watch the kids, I love my grandbabies more than anything so when they want to go out or play bingo or simply go to the grocery store I am always happy to babysit) so I told him the situation and asked if I could stay for 3-4 weeks. He said no. He just couldn't afford to feed me and didn't want the stress on his family. Now realize I don't want any of them to pay for any of my bills, I will deal with that. I was shocked and so hurt by this. Does he not remember the stress I had with him? His meth use? Stealing from me..lieing to me...dealing with cops and meth heads every day? I never hesitated to help him. Finally helping him to overcome. So I asked my pregnant daughter if I could sleep on her couch for a few weeks, she initially said yes, her fiance would fix the futon so I could sleep on it. So I drove to my moms, got my stuff, slept in my car so as not to ask anyone for money for hotel. Drove back to be greeted by my children basically telling me what a loser and burden I am and I can't stay with my daughter because she can't afford to feed me. And that I was a 48 year old child who did nothing but sleep. But, out of pity I could stay with my son with a long list of conditions and boundarys. To summarize I'm not allowed to sleep past 7:30am and not at all during the day. If I feel bad I'm to take a walk or play a game, because everyone feels bad sometimes. I just need to push through it they said. Everyone has bad days they said. I was so hurt. So angry. I left and slept in my car again. The next day I have succombed and am staying with my son and these ridiculous terms. I left today and took a nap in my car at the park after job searching. I just cannot believe this. After everything I've done for all of them. To simply abandon me at my lowest point. I wanted to end it all but I'm afraid I'll mess that up too and end up living and worse off. Has anyone else had similar experience? I just don't know what to think. I plan to get a job and go out on my own and forget them.